inquisitive

there were more shapes
to the pattern
more lines to the shadows
and more questions
to each answer
with these wild and open
eyes.

~

RN

thankful even

thankful even for the times
when I almost gave up, but didn't
thankful for the disappointment
thankful for the sadness
thankful for the forgiveness
thankful for the starting over
with myself
and everyone else
thankful for
the brand new day.

~

RN

in the fog

fog of lethargy
sticking
and weighted in 
my chest
unanchoring the
predispositions
so i can float
in what is left.

~

RN

mountain

saw you as a mountain
saw you as something
unattainable
uncontrollable
and then i remembered
the simple power
of an embrace.

~

RN

out your cup

when pouring
out your cup,
be sure to refill
it with love
and hope and the ability to
forgive, so that
when you reach
the bottom, you
find, it's not
empty at all - but
overflowing, still.

~

RN

freedom is

freedom is...
creating without seeking approval
creating, regardless of criticism,
creating as the decisive act,
the whirl behind every motion
the greatest 'why' that one
could ever ask.

~

RN

Passive

there once was a man
who said nothing
he neither signed with his 
hands nor spoke
with his voice
and all who passed him
were shocked at his complacency
it is easier this way,
he thought.

there once was a woman

who never expressed herself

she neither wrote nor

gave space for her opinion

and all who met her

were dismayed at her passivity

it is better this way,

she thought.

there once was a crowd

who saw murders

and cowards

and hatred go viral

and spread across the land

and they signed nothing

and they said nothing

and they did nothing

until they chose to understand

and seek restitution

and tear down the statues

and build up compassion

and look clearly at themselves

are you that person ?

are the same ?

will this all repeat ?

or will we change ?

there once was a time

when I could not sit

elbow to elbow

with you, at the counter.

there once was an 

accepted norm

that women could not 

and should not, vote.

and we look upon these

ideas as outlandish and

discriminating and unfounded.

we shake our heads in anger

and ask HOW

could we have allowed this

to happen ?

but what about NOW ?

tell me, what about Now.

there once was a person

who DID something

and they poured out 

the power from their pen

and they advocated for the truth

at every chance they had to

and they to make a difference

and then they did.

~

RN

interrogation

removed of your mask
your cape
your cloak
your feathers
who are you
without your costume
who are you
without the choices
you make
who are you
without your beliefs
who are you ???

~

RN

when the trees

when the lizard blinks,
i blink
when the cardinal cheeps,
i call
when the flowers shimmy
in the breeze
i feel them
and when the trees are cut down,
i fall.

~

RN

wholeness

wholeness, he said,
was already contained
in the self, and
yet was not
"self."
but what if the wholeness
has been "we"
all along
unity over division
we are, instead of,
i am.

~

RN

unattached

he said it was freedom
to be unburdened
by the past
to be unattached
to the present
and to not worry
about the future
and i am still
not sure what he meant
but feel glimpses 
of it, under my skin.

~

RN

scarf

in a chillier season
my heart is 
warmed
by the thoughts of our
smiles over coffee
our stories between
books and our friendships
like a scarf stretched
over states
we can snuggle into.

~

RN

belief

no one can walk
on water
without stillness
belief
and friendship
and then
anything is possible.

~

RN

wave after wave

it's not a line
or an ending
or a cut-off,
it's a perspective
how you imagine
the future unfolding for
you, wave after
wave...

~

RN

doing the rings

rungs on the ladder
like doing the rings
jumping feelings
having
no sight
for the ground.

~

RN

through fire

i did not want
to walk through
fire
but i did,
for you,
over and over
again.

~

RN

sunflower hope

she held her hope
up like a sunflower
dancing
in the field.

~

RN

grace for

grace for the mistakes
grace for the obstacles
grace for the past
grace for the learning
grace for the giving
and receiving.

~

RN

stones up

obsessing over the details
only got
in your way
like picking stones up
from the pavement
and stacking them
higher.

~

RN

drawing a ring

so much to celebrate
drawing a ring
around this moment
so much friendship
so much love
so much hope
and possibility.

~

RN

both

you are beautiful
in the shining 
glittering moments.
you are still 
beautiful
in the dark.

~

RN

good music

but i love
good music
and i love
to dance--
how about you ?

~

RN

self-support

support yourself
the way you would
a friend
care for yourself
the way you would
if someone else struggled
and needed a hand-up
reach
for yourself
and that soft inner voice
trust that the love
there is real.

~

RN

new month

new month
new you
new possibilities
new ideas
new insight
new being
new body
new strehhhtches
new play
new hope
new friendships
new trust
new you... new month.

~

RN

umbrella

under the heavy cloud
of pressure
perfection
pointing fingers and that
loud, loud voice
that says you are not
good enough
you lack the skill
you do not
have what it takes
i put up my umbrella
of compassion
and palm extended
walk out into this rain.

~

RN

swirl

cause and effect
sometimes
action and reaction
yes
but swirl
and flow and
magic
in all of these
moments
and forever more.

~

RN

Case

stairs that are ever
going upward
are exhausting
i must find a way
to stop
rest on this balcony
if needed, step off
only to float down
back to the trees and what
is real
knowing the staircase
in my mind
is mine
to change.

~

RN

unplugged

what if
we just unplugged
let them run
let them play
outside
let them learn
the way children
do.

~

RN

in this great twinkling circle

that we are all alive
in this great
twinkling circle
ever-turning
that we can pause
and see each other
and cherish deeply
each breath
causes such 
praise and music
in my heart.

~

RN

cranes

circumstances crumple
like paper folded
into cranes
grounded
the crinkle
still audible
crunching under fingers
pressing out
and learning
always re-learning how to fly.

~

RN

drops

tiny drops of honey
on my fingertips
each leading to a
strand of spider's
silk
each thread
extending to a dream
and the dreams
revealing a truth
and the hope it to
bring this glistening
thought back to you.

~

RN

your freedom

when you remembered
all of the moments
that mattered
i bet
none of them
were spent scouring
the kitchen floor
so let that stuff
go
all of the vicious cycles
of self-betrayals
that kept you kneeling
and rise up
feeling the brilliance
of your freedom
and your inner-worth.

~

RN

it doesn't matter

it doesn't matter what
you're wearing
it doesn't matter how
much stuff you have
or what you don't
it doesn't matter 
where you grew up
where you were born
or where you ended up
it doesn't matter if
you took the long way
or the short--
what does matter--
is the joy and
happiness that you
share with other
people--
where do you find it ?
where do you grow it ?
where can you help it
flow 
until it pours ?

~

RN

Wait

i'm not going to 
wait until you're gone,
to tell you
i appreciate you
i'm not going to
wait to tell you i
love you
when the feeling's bursting
at the seams
i'm not going to 
withhold showing you i care
there is nothing
stopping me
there is no other
time than now
there is nothing 
comparable to this
we found each
other for so many reasons.

~

RN

flawed

you are not
beautiful
because of the way
you look
on the outside
but because of how
you love
and give
and care.

~

RN

Legacy

when your pride
comes from
a place that
includes 
the enslavement
of another people,
it is no longer
a source 
of pride.

~

RN

come out

i dared
the thoughts
to come out onto
the paper
they sneered
and sighed and
laughed and
pointed
and then got quiet
humbled
by my pen.

~

RN

With A Poem

I'm not going to change

your mind with a poem

I couldn't make you act

differently or better

if I tried

That is not within my power

But what is

Is how I choose to speak

How I choose to respond

How I choose to behave

and decide

That the world cannot stay this way

Abusing and confusing and destroying

each other

That the planet cannot stay this way

Exhausting and depleting

and stripping and melting

That We, The People, cannot

stay this way

We were born to love

We were born to create

And so, in the now of this

very moment

I will not stay this way

With my heart breaking

Every day

Although I cannot

Change your mind

With a poem.

~

RN

the wall, breached

there will be no peace
until all people are
equally free.
and there will be 

nothing close to freedom
until the constructs
of oppression
that exist
crumble down.

So what are you 

building with
your life --
another wall ?

~

RN

love is blind

navigating
these walls
in the dark
eyes 
cut out
only fingertips
left
searching.

~

RN

exit

if i could walk
out of myself
i would leave behind
no mess, i would
close all of the doors
and turn to face
this path
if i could walk out
of myself
i would not
feel this pain again.

~

RN

harsh awakening

the kind of shooting
where no one cries
out or screams
just BOOM
and slam and it's over.

~

RN 

skim

there is a bird
skimming across the water
like a boat with both
paddles out
pulled evenly
like a kite carving
through the air streams
but the surface
is my mind
and the bird
is a feeling of calm.

~

RN

begin

what would you do today
if it were your last
day
what would you
let go of
who would you forgive
what would you stop
carrying around
how would you change things
for the better
who do you need to say
thank you to
and where would you
begin--right now ?

~

RN

lessons

Need
is the greatest teacher
said the lock
it forces you
to search
for the key.

Desire
is the greatest teacher
said the craving
it demands
that you decide
on a solution.

Grief
is the greatest teacher
said the empty arms
it lies
and says that nothing
will change.

Hope
is the greatest teacher
says the sunshine
it speaks the truth
that rests
in every seed.

~

RN

reflections

do not let other
people's decisions
determine the perception
of your own
self-worth.
their choices are not
a reflection of who
you are,
but a reflection
of themselves.

~

RN

out on the water

out on the water
no land or refuge in sight
we rock with every wave
a breath
up - inhalation
down - exhaling, a slide
and in our boat we battle
currents not meant for us
the heavy pull
of dark and swirling anger
cold distrust and sparkling,
bruised hurt,
the ocean
capable of holding so
many emotions
they throttle
the boat til it swings
on the verge of flipping
over,
crew and cargo drowning,
but wait--
the rowers sing--

THIS IS HOW WE LEARN

with every new storm
a new skill
with every upheaval
a choice
a chance to learn how to repair
to respond
not by avoiding the passage
but by traveling with our whole
hearts
open--the sails
unfurling in the sun
up - inhalation
down - breathing out
and raising
our voices, as one.

~

RN

release

she hides her sadness--

the earth holds hers in petals,

falling to the ground.

~

RN

to think love

i remember when i used
to think love
was possession
and i wonder
if i've changed
or if i still believe
that's true
do i still associate
control with affection,
power with adoration,
do i still see my
edges as
other-defined ?

~

RN

not backward

why would you want to go backward ?
when you know you are here right now.
why would you want to go back there ?
when you know it would not
be any different, or better,
than you left it.
why would you want to flee ?

when you have the power
to choose, in your hands.

~

RN

meditation

i am safe with myself.
i am safe with my pain.
i am safe with my anger.
i am safe with my fear.
i am safe with my joy.
i am safe with my happiness.
i am safe with my peace.
i am safe with all
of my feelings.
i am safe with all
of my thoughts.
i am safe with my
impermanence.
i am safe with my
eternity.

~

RN

the absence

when things are defined as the absence
of another
what is darkness
without light, what is sorrow
without your sweet smile,
tilting upward as a new day begins
and the sunlight sweeps
across your memory.

~

RN

earth cycle

i am the air
i am the clouds
i am the rain
i am the storm
i am the ocean
i am the waves
i am the shore
i am the land
i am the trees
i am the branches
i am the leaves
i am the flowers
i am the wind
i am the air.

~

RN

red light

I said, rest
And my mind said, no.
I said, rest
And my body said, go.
I said, wait
And my ego said, what ??
Wait for what ?!
I said, this.
And I sat
In the present
And breathed.

~

RN

plea

if YOU
do not stand up for them,
then, who will ?
if YOU do not push back when their potential
is bottled and sealed,
who will ?
who can
teach them how to stand up
for themselves,
when they u n f o l d
into the future,
everyday...
if no one will listen to them,
then, ultimately, what will it take ?

~

RN

The Oncoming

There is a picture on the outside

of my windshield

frozen

black and white

And the images move like shadows,

slowly distorting,

with the crossing light

And I touch the memory with warmth

and with fingertips, 

disbelieving,

As the frost 

spirals out, reveals the oncoming—

And she wakes me before I crash. 

~

RN

red cap

oh, the man
with the red pen
chewing on his cap
how you must feel powerful
crossing out
and editing
those words.

~

RN