Thursday, September 28, 2017

Memo

Create your own happiness.
Look inside of yourself and see
all of your goodness,
all of your twinkling stars,
the places you are worthy, 
and help them to grow.
Tend to and nurture your best self.
Even on your worst days,
you are still, at the core,
your best self.
Everyone falters.
Everyone forgets the long road
and sees the temporary impulse
as a band-aid.
When you know that's not true
When you know that the hard work
makes you better.
When you learn your most needed lessons
at the least expected times.
When your soul shies,
but life recognizes you
from across the room.
Turn down the doubt inside you.
Shout down the noise that cries out
that you are not
good enough, that you are not
the right shape, the right size.
Not the acceptable kind
to whoever you need acceptance from.
Accept yourself.
Be kind to everyone, including yourself.
Dig into your garden and honor
that capsuled life. The strength that
you have always had. The potential that
no one can ever thieve.
And fully awake, embrace
The fragments of your light
You can
carry this note with you,
should you forget...

~

RNH

Monday, August 28, 2017

alien on the rock

I am an alien on this planet.
I speak my own language.
I am strange and, most often,
not understood.
But the trees tell me I belong.
And the wind tells me to stay.
And the sky says, even this loneliness
will not last.

~

RNH

dark water

When the levy broke,
at least you did not buckle 
from the havoc,
at least,
you found the strength
to hold your ground. 

~

RNH

Tuesday, August 22, 2017

cleave

you blanket
each new peril you meet
with that treacherous 
cast
and I walk behind you, hammer
and chisel in hand,
setting them free. 

~

RNH

Tuesday, August 15, 2017

arrows

one pointed
toward you
and the other, to fear,
and my heart
broke between them,
divided by uncertainty.

~

RNH

Monday, August 7, 2017

an unfolded circle

she had been the lone ranger
the sole captain
the odd stranger
for so long
that she had forgotten
what it meant
to be accepted.

~

RNH

In Nature

I have difficulty sitting still.

Even a half-hour TV show while I'm eating dinner. A whole movie ?? Forget about it.

I prefer to be active--to be shaping things and doing things and making things better. If I'm sitting, it's only because I'm reading.

But when I'm in nature, I can sit or stand without that sense of pressure.

I don't feel anxious or worried, or even guilty, for being still. And when I am still in this way, I can think about the things that might be causing me stress and feel more flexible toward them. I can think about those ideas in a new way and, like a puzzle, find different solutions to them. Or I can just know that, yes, those problems or concerns are out there, but they do not define me.

I can choose who I become. I can choose what I think about.

This feeling is very peaceful. And for someone who usually operates at 120%, it is a chance to let go. A chance to connect more deeply to what really matters, and shed the rest.

I am grateful for this world that we are given and the opportunity to cultivate such feelings of calm.

I am grateful for the places in nature where I have felt so at home and immersed in wonder.

~

RNH

Tuesday, August 1, 2017

emblazoned

There will be fire
And you will walk through it
As you have done before.

~

RNH

Friday, July 21, 2017

Write Your Name

i would write your name in cursive
so you could watch its loops and flow
so you could understand the beauty
in the circle of depth and growth

i would write your name in the glowing sand
so you could marvel at its shine
so you could breathe in wonder at any
soft imprint and let go the pull
of the tide

i would write your name in the drying sidewalk
so you could sink in its permanent
so you could know that the shape
of our choices deeply matters,
and in forming your own, feel content

i would write your name on the windows
the hallways,
the bus stops,
the railcars,
as many times as you need
to be reminded
that you are here--
that you are worthy,
i would write until the invisible is seen.

~

RNH

Tuesday, July 18, 2017

dissolve

under the blanket,
stories wrestle themselves
the wish and the honesty
duking it out
neither wanting the other to be
totally right, and neither
hoping to be wrong, both fixed
on their certainty, and so
the two versions
spar until the moon's rise, dissolve
into a bizarre dream in the morning.

~

RNH

Friday, July 14, 2017

blind

pressed against the glass, you
hear the crackle of wing to ash
and as the filament starts to flicker
you hold in the last seconds, charred
then free.

~

RNH

Wednesday, July 12, 2017

ten-thousand-mouthed

there's a ten-thousand-mouthed monster
and she's tugging at my sleeve, she's lightly
gumming on my fingertips
waiting for a look or fuss from me,
and late at night, when i should be sleeping,
she howls with all
ten-thousand throats,
and when she's hungry, forget the growling
it's the talons that you'll feel the most,
with so many
pointy fangs and dangers, you'd worry
that the love's not worth the pain,
but there's just as many kisses--
one ten-thousand for every day.

~

RNH

by lantern light

three lanterns sway on the horizon,
a twinkling dotted line,
a fastened constellation,
and together, they animate
the tales that you have lived before,
the spirit you embody now,
and the promise toward which you sail.
by the first, may you have grown deep inner strength,
by the second, may you develop clarity,
and by the third light, may all of your dreams be illuminated
like guided stars
fearless of their height...

~

RNH

This Is the Part

This is the part where
things get harder not easier.
This is the part where
loneliness demarcates your sight.
This is the part where
the hours of each evening seem unending.
Where the quiet night unearths you.
Where you discover yourself
rough and dark
and crumbling.
This is the part where grief
corrodes your most cherished memories.
Where fear wails out in anger.
Where the ghosts of harming gather
and chant hypnotically.
This is the part where you
will struggle and choose differently.
Only awake and strong can you
change your path.

~

RNH

Tuesday, July 11, 2017

half there

i stood in the doorway
half there and half leaving
and you shone with the affection
that belongs to the spark of familiarity
and i waited for you to say it
and when you didn't, i hesitated
and as i drove home, i plucked one petal off
at a time.

~

RNH

Tuesday, June 20, 2017

tracks

there are train tracks
on the skin
from afar, a whistle
blows, heralding
the night darkens
the few leaves shiver.

~

RNH

Saturday, June 17, 2017

crying

he paced by the screen door
while the music inside lifted
wore a fine groove into the wood
while their voices inside shifted
from mere strangers to acquaintances
laughter made and exchanged
glances and he clawed
at the locked door
between them,
crying, but she would not
let him in.

~

RNH 

dove

softened by the fluff of pillows
the plunge into your arms
so that this love could be a source 
of comfort and not
two limbs of harm. 

~

RNH

Thursday, June 15, 2017

soldier

she waved a single white flag
from the bombed-out
barricades
as the smoke curled
around another
explosion, another
grenade,
and she cried out for peace as the hatred
rained around her and she ran
into the pocked field gathering
bullets.

~

RNH

audiophile

for a year, i walked around in circles with you,
for a year, i stayed on that track
and did not stray
and for a year, i watched as the scenery
didn't change, and the images slowly looped
and then the audio did, too,
and i could not feign the blinders
that i did not have to blame
the fear of being lost,
the belief that i
was not enough,
they were not true and it didn't
end up mattering in the end,
because that record only played
when i knowingly went around on it.

~

RNH

a glimpse

the empty house sat
with its windows looking out
and he watched from his chair
for the neighbor, for the mail lady
and the smile of the visitor that used to open
his doors, every day
a glimpse into a former life.

~

RNH

Rush

I held my breath
For the long slide down
And winced, in both joy and pain,
At the newness
And the cool wind rushed
My face with bright sounds
And it only took a moment, until I
Let go.

~

RNH

Thursday, June 1, 2017

Will Not Have You

I will not have you either
Said the patience to the thorn,
For you dwell in the dagger of your own pain
And you revel in causing the sore.
I will not have you either
Said the passion to the stone,
For you hide in the shadow of your own cage
And you bury your fire in its hold,
And I will not have you either
Said the promise to the cliff,
For I have learned to value my own judgement
And no one will push me off of it.

~

RNH

Monday, May 29, 2017

To the Rescue

It was like carrying
An injured body through waist-high
Muddy waters
In the pouring rain,
Screaming rationale to the helicopters,
Except the person did not die, they just
Refused to live. 

~

RNH

Capsule

Growth, in all forms,
would be a matter of time
and place, just as the seeds
know
when to unfold
themselves.

~

RNH

Shorn Free

She took her axe to the tree
That had stood bearing
No fruit for far too long,
And she built herself a fine boat
And she sailed away. 

~

RNH

Sunday, May 28, 2017

Sugar Hill

in this hill of sand, a diamond,
in this sugar pile running through my fingers, a thorn
worthwhile, and even the hourglass that
pummels me, it
melts, too,
under the laughter of licked tears.

~

RNH

watermark

pencil dropped and picked up
like the stutter in my heart's beat
like the stereo's pulse and bass
pleads, static
blacking out the windows until they
disappear,
their images lost in a thousand bridges
swerved off and their bottled notes acquiring 
this stain. 

~

RNH

Thursday, May 25, 2017

edited roses

my scissors cut out shapes i do not
recognize, their slender 
teeth articulate, they know
what they want to say, while i
hypothesize, phrases curling
upon whispy edges, taffeta
crinkling, stabbed by letters.
all of this unfolds
as the silver cuts and cuts
and cuts. 

~

RNH

Monday, May 1, 2017

a once love

the specter of love / bleeds through my irises
divides the mind / with her lightning / red bolts
that fiction / on replay / flashes the same scene
the big screen / cerebral / where we
about to kiss / lean
and disintegrate.
we burst, into an expanding circle of flame, our gazes
trapped on opposite sides, unraveling.

~

RNH

Sunday, April 30, 2017

carved to me

you were carved
to me
like a cut heart
on a tree
and our wounds betrayed
the softness and its shell.

~

RNH

Wednesday, April 19, 2017

for LMH

I will grow anywhere that I am
planted, like the dandelion suns, wild
and free. I will roll
like the resurrection tumbleweeds, 
thirsty for the right moment and ready
for the hope that blooms
with spring, if only I am patient. I am
as strong as the prickly cactus. I am
fluid as the honeysuckle's sweet scent. I, too,
can conquer steel.
My love is a fenceless love.
And wherever adventure halloos, from the stars
to the tree line, just look and you will
find me there. 

~

RNH

emBraced

When it rains,
Will you fold
In fury, be brushed to the gutter
And surrender
Wherever the current may flow, or
Will you bear
This downpour
And its weighted nourishment
Held by your faith
That you hold the sky.

~

RNH

Tuesday, April 4, 2017

Sustain

desire spiraled out
in blue
sequined tendrils
so that wherever you reached 
you shone. 

~

RNH

Monday, April 3, 2017

inky

i find myself asking,
who are you ?
to the mirror, to the shadow.
who are you ?
to the lamppost, to the street.
and the particles that wait
for an answer, drift
like cursive-drawn eyelashes
discovered by a thumb
on inky cheeks.

~

RNH

Testable

Life does not consist of tests.
At least, not the paper kind.
Not the bubble-in,
circle one,
multiple choice kind.
Not the measurable, scorable,
undefeatable kind.
(At least, they feel that way.)

Life brims full of emotions--
It's in the bubbles of shared laughter.
It's in the circles of people you can trust.
It's in the choices that you always have, to withdraw or persevere.
There are no rulers in this arrangement.
No expectational brackets, no condemning
metrics here.

And although your youth
may be quizzed to its wits' end,
Do not let these decided scales define you.
You are so much more than a printed digit to me.  

~

RNH

before, they said

before you could fly, they said
you should run, and accumulate
such momentum, that all that remained
was to jump

and before you could run, they said
you should walk, and observe
how each first step determined
the next one's precarious fall

and before you could walk, they said
you should crawl, and accept
these limitations
as the order of boxes to check off

but I applauded, shouting praises, when you
sprouted wings and flew
from the trenches to the sky-tracing mountains,
your potential, I already
knew.

~

RNH

Saturday, March 4, 2017

acid

and each lie thrown, corrodes
the last one told, until
there is nothing left
of my
face.
 
~

RNH

Friday, March 3, 2017

waistline race

when the measuring tape pulled tighter
insisting *this*
was just enough,
i ran with my scissors through
the finish line and documented 
that I was already done.

~

RNH

Thursday, March 2, 2017

The Three Commanders

There was a knocking on the front door
and on the other side stood, armed,
the three commanders of your darkness--
Failure.
Rejection.
Anger.
Alarmed, you did not answer. And back-stepping, watched
in horror,
as
the knob
slowly
turned.
These three could not exist without your belief
in them, and you
opening, knowing this,
realized they were gone.

~

RNH

happy pianist

above black and white keys,
the silly child assumes command,
provokes the chaos for its peaceful coordinates,
the posable harmonies, the labyrinthine
handstands and barreling through
another neck-cringing performance,
pounds out the last possibilities, happy
in the collapse.

~

RNH

Friday, February 10, 2017

Odina

crushed inside a snow globe
longing pressured, mesh embrace
corrugated layers of impressions
wrong, she balanced, lost
her place
in the downpour--
golden moons upon her abdomen,
tiger eyes wide upon her wings.

~

RNH

Saturday, February 4, 2017

this is not a one-sided wall, this is give and take

i do not need for you to fix me
i just need for you to listen
and understand why
it was so painful
in the first place.

~

RNH

The Chords

on the days that i feel more
vividly than the rest,
the ache in someone's story,
the sadness carried in their chest,
resounds in mine,
echoes,
when they press, i play
it, too,
the chords that kept themselves
from dying, come alive
in a familiar tune
in shaking hands and haunting
dreams and ringed eyes from nights
of no sleep, i take a deep
breath and i choose
my words as carefully
as i can
on those days,
my hollow sings, it soothes
with empathy to their wounds and maybe
alone
we cannot endure this, but together,
we can pull through.

~

RNH

Pledge Allegiance

I believe in honesty. 
I believe in equality.
I believe in inclusion, not exclusion. 
I believe in respecting each other. 
I believe our differences make us stronger. 
I believe in the power of compassion.
I believe in peace. 

I believe no unjust force will last, as long as we are brave enough to refute it. 

~

RNH

Monday, January 2, 2017

woodpile

the limbs that stack so precariously
in the corner are the names
i will not touch with a ten-foot
pole, they poke and stir within
my mind, a tiny fire
and while i hear the crackling, i pretend
i do not hurt
and the vowels that sing out, round and loud,
destroy my vision,
and the consonants that reach out on repeat
collect my tears,
peace blurs
between the sky and the words building momentum
the longer i hesitate to say them, the more
they appear.

~

RNH

my own

with the silence like a blanket,
i buried beneath it and thought comfort
in its wrapped, protective fortress,
the mountain surrounding my chin to knees,
and when the arms i sought to open
crossed tighter,
i clamped shut
and knew the fault was not the covers',
when i finally crawled away from its warmth.

~

RNH