collision

fluttered through the picture book
like car crashes
ice and glass colliding, scattering
memories like snowflakes
bomb fragments
of your eyes
lips, torso
pages like pavement
flip, flip, flip,
impact. 

~

RNH

stratosphere

I will lose you,
she said,
like a feather from the wing.
I am grateful,
for by knowing you,
I have learned to fly.

~

RNH

Christmas Lights

Strung up through the telephone
My love like Christmas lights
Still twinkles
Left parading a memory
For too long
Days coalescing together
A plastic cord
Rests between my fingers
Waits for sight to fill
The vapid air, tense
With the desire to quell
Any disaster
With paintbrush and toothpaste
As if the mantra of the symbolic
And the routine
Could have kept us safe
We shattered
Though we mimed a good
Forty thousand memories
I watched
As my words froze and sharp
Disintegrated
To dust
Now the pages flip themselves
Clatter in a rush of finality
The end signaled
By the blunt
Wielding of a dial tone.

~

RNH

lifesize

the feeling
that i should be bigger
gregarious
more friendly
to a fault without
being embarrassed
that kind of impenetrable
confidence, the gaze
i only met in a man
as he scanned the outline of my body
for access.

~

RNH

Obsess

Being under a microscope
Is not the same as
Being loved
It is the identical intensity
That drove Frankenstein
To his death.

~

RNH

Char

Without my hand in the fire
I feel
Undesirable
Maybe I should
Strike a match
And walk away...

~

RNH

As You Appear

I watch women
Change their appearance
As if that is the only thing
They can control
When in truth
There are hurricanes
In your eyes.

~

RNH

genesis

thread tugged loose by an idea
a nail caught on a two by four
coiled from a sweater, turquoise
that you loved
once
as vividly
as the cells shifting
over your body
love the sunlight
unraveling the unsaid words
in your electric smile.

~

RNH

spark

i could trace you
from the ghost of you
photographed
captured
in teeny capsules
pixels of knowingness
reflecting our affectionate
respect for each other
conscious
of the Polaroid
lingering
the evidence
of a spark.

~

RNH

Seagull

Arc of feather
Sliced through air
The foamy wave's crest
Broken, lifts
Her swollen belly
Pure as snow drifts
Melting clouds
Filtering through her wings.

~

RNH

Deep Blue

Pulled the ribbon
Watched its slow
Blue satin writhe
Its cerulean wreaths
From your hair
Falling
In auburn rivers
That spilt to your shoulders
Knowing
Every moment
I held
The end.

~

RNH

something red

Life is beautiful

Any way you look at it

She asks me to play

I spy with her

And I let her win. 

~

RNH

kept

there is something in me that folds
at every mention of your name
at every thought of you passing by
your gestures
your brisk walk
your sharp face
i turn
and reorient
myself to a world
beautiful without you
complete as soon as i allowed truth
to step out of the shadowed corners
and animate
the secrets i always kept.

~

RNH

in the interim

when the conversation pauses
when the adventure halts
when you face two possibilities
and a choice
will you take my outstretched
palm up,
hand
as an offering
of comfort in the interim,
laughter in between.

~

RNH

pincushion

you are the pin in my heart
i keep bleeding
and bleeding
though bereft
of you...

~

RNH

reflection

how can an artist create something that is not a reflection of themselves?
musicians capture moods
painters and sculptors freeze moments
why any different for a poet
every syllable, a carved
singing
life of its own.

~

RNH

braille

allowed to linger
the edges found
a convex to her concave
curve of tree trunk carved
a flower, petal, leaf
expressed in splintered
gathered images
she spoke
to the silent
tracing witness
the glaze of blossom
felt
the outline of truth
lifting to his fingers.

~

RNH

would be to say

to say that memories did not flicker
in my soul, like burning candles
low-lit, wavering with the unseen
soft sigh of affection
would be to say
that the sky was not blue
and the salt did not sting
on the open wound, gentle
the soothing hand, quiet
the unspoken, understood
exchange
and the last place i
touched you, elbow
to the palm still
glows
waits to be
illuminated again.

~

RNH

a vicious circle

it was a pretty circle
around a pretty bunch
of flowers
around a pretty curl
of hair
the girl, always
bending to fashion
and accommodating
and reassuring
and taking care
of everyone
but herself
she spliced
the band, in two
and walked away

clean.

~

RNH

the dichotomy

I had wanted to believe
in the permanence of values
I had wanted to believe
in the honest growth of things
I often sank, listless, dissuaded
by the difference
between the wish and what
I saw in you
no one would believe.

~

RNH

storm

When you go through your most difficult times
When you throw up your hands
When you cry out defeat
The storm will cloud darkly
and inevitably, clear
the sky
to show
the strength you needed
you possessed
all along.

~

RNH

Disney Character

So this is what happens when you grow up on Disney

even when you've evolved into a feminist

even when you believe in equal

rights and equal responsibility

You still end up 

waiting for that illusion of a prince

to show up, knocking at your door
tossing pebbles at your windowpane

when you know that nothing
worth having ever

appears instantaneously

and yet you still

spend years, decades of deceiving

Yourself, singing
"I am unsure 

and incomplete..."

without you, as if solitude
were something to avoid

with both hands, dissecting

the plot lines, when you know

that clarity only distills
in silence 

when will you stop

waiting for an arrival

and create your own happiness

because you are already really real, girl 

I promise you

so go--
take on the world

and take off those plastic mouse ears
be yourself
once and for all

You are worthy

You are enough.

~

RNH

Textbook Perfect

Loathe the texture
Every touch, a crevice
To tear at, a cliff
Not high enough
To leap
From this distance
Off the overarching fear, the curve
Of expectation, never enough
The lesson I learned
From you.

~

RNH

parapet

Love like a parapet

I want to throw myself from. 

~

RNH

Two Rocks

Faced with two rocks
And a hard place
I stared down the beaten path
And challenged its
Soft dust to rise
The tan earth's breath to speak.
Will this
Be your defining moment?
Daring, immovable she
Asked me.
From kneeling, I stood.
Absolutely not.
I will never
Let destruction create
Who I am.

~

RNH

little frog

the little frog said to the tall, proud oak
when will i grow strong and stretch
my arms out, just like you
the tall oak said, gently bending to the wind,
you are noble as you are
doubt not the strength that lies within.

the little frog asked the twinkling current of the stream
when will i be fast and shape
my own path, just like you
the bright stream replied, quietly flowing around the tree,
you are exceptional as you are
doubt not the light you cannot see.

the little frog spoke to the swirling, singing wind  
when will i rise up and find
my brave voice, just like you
the smiling sky answered, rustling leaf and rippling water,
you are, even now, invincible
doubt not your delicate heart.

~

RNH

Shell

Fingers on the lips' container

The error pointing out 

Your ways, the grandeur 

Blindly hoping for better

The reality slapping truths

Into faces bottled

In faces, the little dolls

Smiling, I waited

For revelation to reveal
Your secret
Admiring the most
Artificial
True
Nature
I sacrificed
My character for your shell.

~

RNH

tulle

in between the folds of tulle
i tucked the days and second
hands
of us
the ticking
off minutes
until we,
the explosion,
fell quietly
tangled in the mesh, i know
you thought i
lost myself
in the gauze, i know you thought i 
could not see
---
through the black bars, the black caustic
screen over my heart
---
broken, shaking in the prison of my chest
i beheld you, finally
truthfully
as you are
and calmly picked up the pieces
from the floor
see
how they glitter
the shards
the sequins

in my new dress.

~

RNH

Useful

"Love is only useful when it's useful."

I know,
I know. 

I remember

How you loved me. 

~

RNH