shackled

the sickness bled through
unfettered, unstoppable
and poured its black and cloudy
nightmare
scarring all I loved
and I watched, helpless to change
unable to resist or move the plain
fact I remained
shackled only by my fear
the greatest chain of all.

~

RNH

heard among the trees

it was as if the trees spoke to her
bodies whispered, leaned and bent
their aged trunks around their ideas
knotted wisdom knew what it meant
to suffer plaintively, witness quietly
survive, but more, persist in this
violent, strange, chaotic world
and create something beautiful in its midst.

~

RNH

hula hoop

she knew that accusation was easier
she would not fall
through that trap again
or settle in that loop, even if comfortable
nothing should substitute truth
blank and lost
she hitchhiked her way
home, the road
a lonesome, black circle. 

~

RNH

collection

here are my weapons
my silence
my anger
here are my tools
a woman used
to pain, resists
any action to admit
trust or need, held like a breath
here are the broken
things I loved, please
just take them
please just leave.

~

RNH

What Are You ?

what are you

if not a reason to leave
a thing to abandon
a disappointment to grieve
over, then brush
quickly off of my hands
and cheeks, the tears
will not stop
and i cannot keep breaking
my heart for you

what are you

standing in the doorway
never fully in
nor fully out

ruining my love.

~

RNH

office humor

I need to get out of here
before I start throwing things
before the words fly like paper clips
before the stapler, much heavier, wings
itself across the room
my anger, heavier still, consumed
in a hurricane of office supplies
absurd, yes, dangerous, true,
I carefully lay out one folder
then the next
I need to find the exit
before I start being myself.

~

RNH

pen in ice

dipped the pen in ice
so I could better understand your frigidity
and apply it to my writing
like cold butter spread on bread
it will not
melt
it will not
move when I budge
it crumbles in my fingers, it scrapes
against my tongue and I swallow
what I can and regurgitate your fears
tell you how the cruelest thrive
tell you what you want to hear.

~

RNH

the untruths

swept the untruths under your tongue
the cold vulnerability seen when you opened
your mouth to show me
those secrets you hide
no proof to be seen there
only your lies.

~

RNH

the assault

I will give you my back
when you push me with complaints
everything always
everyone else's fault

I will give you my profile
when your pushing turns to shoving
and the verbal abuse flows
freely from your faucet mouth

I will give you my hard gaze
when you need the truth most
stilling the furor
in your bulldozing tracks
the assault halts at my door.

~

RNH

dependent

like a body in the water
half-
drowned
half-afloat
her dress waved in the blue translucence
her hair drifted and choked
on the wet dependency on truth
the buoy crutch of sincerity
she needed to hear it, as much
as it sank her
she needed to hear from you.

~

RNH

monster

if I put my mouth this close to yours
and screamed
would you still doubt my existence
if I stood next to you
and started tearing at my veins
would you notice
and still not
care
if I ran through your house and knocked
everything off of the walls
those pictures, so carefully framed
would you continue to stare at the clock
and wait for me to finish
and wait
for me to disappear.

~

RNH

grieving hands

a thousand little fingers quivered
a thousand little sighs
and a thousand little worries
lit up a thousand little eyes
and they chirped and twittered and wrung
themselves, entirely
out of emotion
until they were twigs
until they were sand
and then they washed
quietly away.

~

RNH

the off lamp

took both her hands off and laid them
on the table, by the off lamp
by the coaster and the cream, she
used to use every night, flipped
the switch and set them
down, laid down on the bed
herself, no longer needing
to hold
to treasure
to witness
or
to feel.

~

RNH

violent domestic

I was walking to the grocery store
and I had the urge to hurt someone
she says to me
I had the gnawing desire to slap
the next person who ran into me
and I furrowed my eyebrows and feared
that untamed fury in her pupils
glaring through the eyeballs
I worried of her, on her next shopping trip
what would she do
with what weapon, hiding in her hands.

~

RNH

torso

the human had a human suit on
well, at least, a human torso on
well, at least, the front that I could see
and her naked plastic body
revealed nothing of herself to me
some man's imagined curves and shadows
hugging her covered, bare skin.

~

RNH

ring stain

when she glossed over the truth
she left a ring of irony, the wine glass smooth
and sweating in the limelight
the crisp chardonnay, bright
twinkling stars
burning
in her eyes
and her gaze
slid
down to the taken up corners
of the room and your heart
locked to reentry.

~

RNH

white fog

silent as ice
the tinted white fog on glasses
frosted as your voice slipped
in between the left messages
and I paused and I blinked
and hit the unavoidable repeat
wiping the windshield with my stretched sleeve
as you prepare to crash again.

~

RNH

not-yet tomorrows

running toward the brilliant light
the open door
the bright sunrise
the promise of all not-yet tomorrows
made of hope
shining on us.

~

RNH

the swan, grief

the grief is soaring
and stretching its wings
holds up its head high
screaming, it sings
and crashes into my love's
strong arms
i have you
i hold you
with no doubt or fear.

~

RNH

the cub pilot

he was a young boy
side-swept, dark hair
dark eyes, moody and irreverent
heart fully independent
and he shone through the midnight
sky's curtains, pulled tight
he glowed through the doubt and fear
and steered calm, his course.

~

RNH

bundle of balloons

spirit lifted as the kite by wind
the feathers tickled
the dandelions flutter and spill
wishes as bright
as the bundle of balloons, colorful, drifting
as calm as my unbridled joy could be. 

~

RNH