mosaic

the light filtered through the broken glass
and the dilapidated shutters
and the tattered, faded curtains
and as bleak as the horizon
appeared to be sometimes,
all I had to do was look
at you and the whole world
shone bright.

~

RNH

flipped

peacock feathers flipped
convex their embrace
inside out, complete
the hypnotist in turquoise robes
sways, with a million eyes.

~

RNH

a silent note

tucked under the corner
left my love
hidden
in code and secret
messages
never to be voiced or written
silent as salt on the wound.

~

RNH

palette

the teal swept her away
the pale pink kissed her
the lavender rocked her to sleep
and she woke to a tangerine morning
dipped in the pastel palate of bliss.

~

RNH

water-bearer

Aquarius
brought her pitcher
of grief and her armor
of anguish and delivered
defeat with a slow
bowing
motion
conquering even as she kneeled
pouring
tragedy, spilling like water.

~

RNH

you, before

better the noose
caught you before the door hit
you, before
the stool broke in two, before
the ground, itself, betrayed you
and belief
walked out
lifted by the arm pits
carried
by large bodyguards
who did not to protect you
better all this
than when I met you
blind and deluded and faint.

~

RNH

third eye

with the eye in the palm of your hand
you saw me, looking
and swiveling
away
the truth residing
in the silence
and the fraying
quoted sentences unraveling
like so many bright
gold threads...

~

RNH

the last day

when your hands disappeared into liquid
and suspicion
drained you of strength as decay
carving trees
of their greatness, you turned
your soft face into me
and I held you like
there was no tomorrow.

~

RNH

the pool of forgiveness

dipped into the pool of forgiveness
I asked you to hold me
I asked you to take this
horrible, yelling anxiety
and witness
that I am not my frailties
that I am
so much more.

~

RNH

dagger rain

when it rained, it drenched
wicks dripping boiling spits
of wax and weary, angry tears
splattered clothing, soaking clear
through walls and words
of I don't love you
drove a knife in, screamed and twisted.

~

RNH

pocketed

with his jacket unbuttoned, he pocketed
one hand and held
back his shoulders and looked
squarely at me and I wondered
what kind of woman he thought
would not meet
his gaze
or his stance.

~

RNH

lipstick love

I think you left your lipstick
on my broken, red glass heart
and when you kissed it better
you, instead, lit brilliant sparks
and the fire burst the mirrors
burgundy bled
all down my chest
and I stood, with the fragments falling,
caught in the middle, unable to resist.  

~

RNH

the glitter show

she cried white rivers
of glittery tears
and the eyeliner ran
and the lashes stuck, smeared
make-up, ruined illusion
of the put-together girl
and she hid her hurt in shame
afraid to show the world.

~

RNH

icicles

last night
icicles burst, a silvery
flourish
in frozen hands
and pink, numb fingertips
opened to linger, wrists
unbound and upturned, fell
silence with a pen
and the small words of revelation
blossomed
as snowflakes shimmering within...

~

RNH

cried the raven

she held a raven in her
dark and feathered profile scraped
the sky bereft of all its colors
the pavement soaking up the fate
of love and faith and hope, extinguished
fluttering down into small pools
floating across the silvery surface
never mended, safe or soothed.

~

RNH

fringe of teeth

there were teeth at the window
looming, glaring, bared
impatient
and she lingered in the sunset's
palate of pinks and soft tangerines
pulled the curtain back and bristled
bracing resentment against the center
betrayal, the constant
quivering cornerstone
aptly bringing her to her knees.

~

RNH

at the dark window

Everything changes your perspective
Even the light upon the sill
Even the sadness in your glittered eyes
Even the small, curled wisp of hair
That you tuck
And you filter
Each word through the stained glass of truth
The brittle shards, swallowed
The splintered heart, soothed
Only by the open
Dark window of opportunity
You can see the risk--
Take it.
Be moved.

~

RNH

perch searching

tension in the air
fear and consequence and retribution
electric reciprocity, the anger and the dark solution
glaring, violent, fragile birds
flutter their hollow bones
from one branch
to my dangling
stiff-held wrist of an arm
searching for the words to console you.

~

RNH

tornado

her mouth contained the atmosphere
the universe slid
down her throat
and with her lips, she sealed
your fate
and in her arms, you lost
your control
torn between the spiral's twisting
lost in her blue tornado.

~

RNH

posable

doll-like
she crossed her arms, held
a small breath away from her slender
V-shaped
torso
and she claimed not to need
and she blank-faced the greed
to quarter, maim and destroy her.

~

RNH

the shoreline

i am not the shoreline, as you are not
the cold wintercoat i shrug
to stay warm
i am not the border, as you are not
the hat and gloves i wave
to stay silent
i am not the fence or the harbor, the ledge
or the doorframe
the sharp cliff looming before you
like death
or life or madness, the kind of love
i only felt for you
know my heart only by its
silhouette.

~

RNH

passenger

I was just a passenger on a train
and you were just a window on the car
you were something I could see through
another image in between
and the landscape that was revealed
flourishing, beaten, running away
sat in the camcorder of my mind
fixed and reticent, as you leave.

~

RNH

keep it

shaking your shoulders
let go of this demon, I said
let go of this worry and dread
let go of this fear of what you will do or you won't do
or you should do
let go of this guilt, all together
and keep your head high, little girl
keep your pride
let me tell you,
your good heart is truly unbreakable.

~

RNH

this way

if I could change you, I hope
it would be in the best way
if I had any effect at all
I hope I comforted you
on your worst day
I hope I brushed away those tears
and hugged you like you
had not been hugged in a million years
I hope it made one single ounce of difference
this way I love you
this way I love you more.

~

RNH

YOU MUST BE THIS TALL...

she looked at me with wet
weary eyes
contemplating the world
calibrating its size
and she knew you were too small
and too bitter, a person
to ever grapple with the truth.

~

RNH

lightning rod

and when the car struck brick and mortar
when the bullet hit the flesh
when the hostility found the lightning rod
it was all I could do
to stand, you fled
and ran like your existence was threatened
while I shook,
you blinked at me.

~

RNH

Avalanche

And there came an avalanche
Hurling and tumbling
Wrath and resentment bowled
Fast mighty stones
And the earth seemed to upheave
The ground shifting, trust cleaved
The bloom that held certainty
Grew thorns of doubt
And as the hands shook
The eyes pricked
The boulders zoomed past and split 
And I
Stood by your unbreakable side
And let them rain.

~

RNH

the cloth

sweat out the anguish
like a rag wringing dry
the cloth, the body, twisted
the grief, like water, flies
slapping every surface sloppy
wet with eyes too full to cry
give the heartache, one more hard turn
wring the burst scar, one more time.

~

RNH

glint

when my heart hurts, I cannot write
I cannot find the words or stand their sight
I cannot soothe the ache or mend the tears
I cannot fight the anger or quell the fear
and when I do shut down
I shut down all
the light, only a small glint, almost gone.

~

RNH

for the door

would not walk away
with suitcase in hand
would not relinquish duty
with fear leading the pack
would not start for the door
every time doubt implores
for a greater understanding
I will wait
and trust
and persevere.

~

RNH

treasure chest

chopped the box up
with a mighty machete
opened its treasure
to the light and the day
unlocked the passion
taught to resist the capture
so I set free myself
all exposed and twinkling...

~

RNH

on a leash

temper tantrum daughter
took her leash and cut it off her
hooked the collar round a door knob
walked away with face in hands
sobbing
then wiped away the regret
so many tears spent, so many truths bent
ringing around her bruised, boxed ears
freed by the strength to let go.

~

RNH

fray

when you plucked at my edges
I knew they would fray
I knew I would acquiesce
when I should have disobeyed
I knew that my former stance
would bow amidst the clay
shrinking figure of your courage
at least my substance still remained.

~

RNH

of stones

with a melted face
she looked at me
made uncomfortable by her half-
lilted expression
dripping down her burgundy cheeks
ran the palpable admission
of her cold, stony heart.

~

RNH

autumnal prayer

head bowed to the interminable grace
the overlapping mirrors
the translucent face
the revelation bending even the stars
to the never-ending
spiral rifling bright
as the colors on the leaves.

~

RNH

recovery

lightning bolt struck
through the young tree, shook
its crimson leaves and almond
roots dug
down
deep, center
integrity split, breached, splintered
and pulling against the ground's trust
to stay in one place and forgive
stronger
changed
forced
to heal.

~

RNH

temporality

temporality took you
your body, your possessions
remaining, the pieces decorating
your life along the way

still, like frames hung on the half-lit hall
still fragility frozen
i remember you
i remember your laugh
booming and proud

and even though time
has taken you, your broken heart
is mended in all of us
who love you and will not let you go.

~

RNH

let go

all it took
was to uncurl bent fingers
open the palm up
and release the pent anger
held
onto so long
wincing when I touched
wound
soft sighed, grateful to be forgiven.

~

RNH

shackled

the sickness bled through
unfettered, unstoppable
and poured its black and cloudy
nightmare
scarring all I loved
and I watched, helpless to change
unable to resist or move the plain
fact I remained
shackled only by my fear
the greatest chain of all.

~

RNH

heard among the trees

it was as if the trees spoke to her
bodies whispered, leaned and bent
their aged trunks around their ideas
knotted wisdom knew what it meant
to suffer plaintively, witness quietly
survive, but more, persist in this
violent, strange, chaotic world
and create something beautiful in its midst.

~

RNH

hula hoop

she knew that accusation was easier
she would not fall
through that trap again
or settle in that loop, even if comfortable
nothing should substitute truth
blank and lost
she hitchhiked her way
home, the road
a lonesome, black circle. 

~

RNH

collection

here are my weapons
my silence
my anger
here are my tools
a woman used
to pain, resists
any action to admit
trust or need, held like a breath
here are the broken
things I loved, please
just take them
please just leave.

~

RNH

What Are You ?

what are you

if not a reason to leave
a thing to abandon
a disappointment to grieve
over, then brush
quickly off of my hands
and cheeks, the tears
will not stop
and i cannot keep breaking
my heart for you

what are you

standing in the doorway
never fully in
nor fully out

ruining my love.

~

RNH

office humor

I need to get out of here
before I start throwing things
before the words fly like paper clips
before the stapler, much heavier, wings
itself across the room
my anger, heavier still, consumed
in a hurricane of office supplies
absurd, yes, dangerous, true,
I carefully lay out one folder
then the next
I need to find the exit
before I start being myself.

~

RNH

pen in ice

dipped the pen in ice
so I could better understand your frigidity
and apply it to my writing
like cold butter spread on bread
it will not
melt
it will not
move when I budge
it crumbles in my fingers, it scrapes
against my tongue and I swallow
what I can and regurgitate your fears
tell you how the cruelest thrive
tell you what you want to hear.

~

RNH

the untruths

swept the untruths under your tongue
the cold vulnerability seen when you opened
your mouth to show me
those secrets you hide
no proof to be seen there
only your lies.

~

RNH

the assault

I will give you my back
when you push me with complaints
everything always
everyone else's fault

I will give you my profile
when your pushing turns to shoving
and the verbal abuse flows
freely from your faucet mouth

I will give you my hard gaze
when you need the truth most
stilling the furor
in your bulldozing tracks
the assault halts at my door.

~

RNH

dependent

like a body in the water
half-
drowned
half-afloat
her dress waved in the blue translucence
her hair drifted and choked
on the wet dependency on truth
the buoy crutch of sincerity
she needed to hear it, as much
as it sank her
she needed to hear from you.

~

RNH

monster

if I put my mouth this close to yours
and screamed
would you still doubt my existence
if I stood next to you
and started tearing at my veins
would you notice
and still not
care
if I ran through your house and knocked
everything off of the walls
those pictures, so carefully framed
would you continue to stare at the clock
and wait for me to finish
and wait
for me to disappear.

~

RNH

grieving hands

a thousand little fingers quivered
a thousand little sighs
and a thousand little worries
lit up a thousand little eyes
and they chirped and twittered and wrung
themselves, entirely
out of emotion
until they were twigs
until they were sand
and then they washed
quietly away.

~

RNH

the off lamp

took both her hands off and laid them
on the table, by the off lamp
by the coaster and the cream, she
used to use every night, flipped
the switch and set them
down, laid down on the bed
herself, no longer needing
to hold
to treasure
to witness
or
to feel.

~

RNH

violent domestic

I was walking to the grocery store
and I had the urge to hurt someone
she says to me
I had the gnawing desire to slap
the next person who ran into me
and I furrowed my eyebrows and feared
that untamed fury in her pupils
glaring through the eyeballs
I worried of her, on her next shopping trip
what would she do
with what weapon, hiding in her hands.

~

RNH

torso

the human had a human suit on
well, at least, a human torso on
well, at least, the front that I could see
and her naked plastic body
revealed nothing of herself to me
some man's imagined curves and shadows
hugging her covered, bare skin.

~

RNH

ring stain

when she glossed over the truth
she left a ring of irony, the wine glass smooth
and sweating in the limelight
the crisp chardonnay, bright
twinkling stars
burning
in her eyes
and her gaze
slid
down to the taken up corners
of the room and your heart
locked to reentry.

~

RNH

white fog

silent as ice
the tinted white fog on glasses
frosted as your voice slipped
in between the left messages
and I paused and I blinked
and hit the unavoidable repeat
wiping the windshield with my stretched sleeve
as you prepare to crash again.

~

RNH

not-yet tomorrows

running toward the brilliant light
the open door
the bright sunrise
the promise of all not-yet tomorrows
made of hope
shining on us.

~

RNH

the swan, grief

the grief is soaring
and stretching its wings
holds up its head high
screaming, it sings
and crashes into my love's
strong arms
i have you
i hold you
with no doubt or fear.

~

RNH

the cub pilot

he was a young boy
side-swept, dark hair
dark eyes, moody and irreverent
heart fully independent
and he shone through the midnight
sky's curtains, pulled tight
he glowed through the doubt and fear
and steered calm, his course.

~

RNH

bundle of balloons

spirit lifted as the kite by wind
the feathers tickled
the dandelions flutter and spill
wishes as bright
as the bundle of balloons, colorful, drifting
as calm as my unbridled joy could be. 

~

RNH

seine

sketch of a memory
pen swings and swivels
stains
the sides of my fingers
ink black
and the visual net
is thrown to the darkest corners
gathering
the sounds and syllables
of truth.

~

RNH

the traveler

why am i always leaving
always with my bag packed
always with my keys ready
that eternal sign
of needlessness
perceived as strength
i wish i could unlearn
that habit
why am i always
ready to up and quit
throw my hands up
and efforts to the wind, well
it was never up to me, anyways
or is it
how about taking a permanent stand
a decisive move to say
in affirmation
this
is what i believe in, this
is what i am here for, and this
for once
is why i am not
running away.

~

RNH

on a fence

boy on a fence
waiting between what he has been
and what he will be
on the border of identity
guarded as the wind changes
watching the horizon...

~

RNH

on the leaves

girl in the forest
dreaming patience to the trees
when the city kept on rushing
she reflected on the leaves
and their will to keep on growing
ever reaching for the light
even one will die and wither
so the rest may live and thrive...

~

RNH

experiment

they say that collaboration is the key
the mixing of minds, the witches' brew
of thought and creativity
i wonder
what the experiment will bring
when my colors melt with yours
when the outcome begins to shift...

~

RNH

the fall

coils of auburn silk
fall down her shoulders
the center of her soft sweater
folds just a little
and you sigh when she exhales
and melt when she comes near
the scent of lavender
and innocence and home.

~

RNH

leading lady

with the desire to play a role
she swept her skirt up, turned
her shoulders sideways
and looked at you
from under long eyelashes
calm, in reflection
her perfection, blinding.

~

RNH

it was this

it was this big, she said
slowly pinching her fingers
the air serving purpose
to prop up the picture
and describe the dimensions
knife to the sadness
it was this small
she said, slowly looking away.

~

RNH

bed-head

creased bed from where
you woke up, got up, walked out
and serenaded the morning
and pet your depression
like a lover, caressed it
and left me with this stupid song
stuck in my head.

~

RNH

tinsel and noise

trepidation collected
tinsel and noise
and went up in a hot second
the Christmas tree in flames
and the memories stuck together
like all the things that you have been
q-tips and contact lenses
filling up the trash.

~

RNH

anonymous

anonymity
come and devour me
inhale this absence til
there is none left
walking the thin line
has only divided me
into finer and finer pieces
destroy what's left.

~

RNH

what's mine is yours

what's mine is yours
except for the sand
that filters through your fingers
and blisters your hands
what's yours is mine
except for the shadows
that circle my eyes
and silence my heart.

~

RNH

young girl, bitter grief

i grieve for her future
when she looks back and grimaces
wishes that she could return
the attention
and time
and attempts
to animate the silences
engrossed with posing
when she should have
spoken.

~

RNH

fortress

emaciated
luxurious in her neutrality
half-clothed
only her ambivalence revealed
and her eyes, flicking
consuming the breath of you
cannot exist
unless she lets you
closer
than her skin.

~

RNH

the decomposition

pulling over the covers
like a dead thing
lay beneath the sheets
this decaying scene
would not fade
for the life of me
drained out, puddling,
under the sink.

~

RNH

reconcile

when the pain came back full circle
i remember who you were then
and what you did
and i stared blankly at my weeping
reflection that i
could not reconcile
or forgive.

~

RNH

locked doors

she would not pause before
the closed door would not prevent her
from opening the locked stores
the hidden rooms only an unsent
invitation
she knows where to enter
she knows you are waiting.

~

RNH

skip and pulse

pace set by pulsing heartbeat
rapid punctuation, skipping compulsory
rhythm, a function
of what needs repeating
reminds you to come back
you, unabashed, come back.

~

RNH

blind love

they say love will let go
love will trust
love will do these unseeing
blind-man's tricks
and yet i do not think
love in any of its manifestations
would be something deceitful
or only
an illusion.

~

RNH

enough steps

i had hoped there would be enough room
enough steps between us
to keep us
from running into each other
the greatest sin of a dancer
is to not know where
you are going

no matter my path
you crash
into me...

~

RNH

two spun

when we spun
it was in opposite directions
you, too haphazard
me, too careful
both, types of control
and together, i
wanted us to spiral and yet
i saw it unhinge just
as quickly as we connected
we unraveled.

~

RNH

she, the performer

she took her clothes off as if it was
the only thing she had
left to reveal
as if it was
the only
barrier between herself
and the rest of the world
as if her
skin
was the only
possession that she owned
and could sell.

~

RNH

chaos tied

free from chaos, never to be
the clutter, a permanent lasso
the beads tied, collecting
rings around my t-formed
body
floating calm on the cerulean sea.

~

RNH

star-shaped

outline of what i am
not
recognized negative
pressed cookie-cutter
shaped thought
i pour and mold myself
into the picture
containing what you will remember

~

RNH

eclipse

crosshatch of shadow and trees
lost in the knitted light, silhouettes
sheathed, cloaked in the turning,
setting sun
and its veritable eclipse
of us.

~

RNH

salvation

if sinking were precursory
to salvation, lifting
the burdens from your
tired, aching limbs
i would cover your essence
with my bright shield
loving you, only
as you are and will be.

~

RNH

joyful sun

if the morning sun shone no more
raised not
its blonde, soft sleepy face
i would be able to go back and trace
each moment i loved you
and with regret, pale not once.

~

RNH

ache

when the argument demanded an answer
when the situation called for a solution
i could not give it
i could
not, for the life of me,
find it
though i searched in all the places
your memory clung still...

~

RNH

i would not hope

i would not hope for you to be here
i would not hope
i would not fathom
for an ending
more peaceably than any of the others before
i hold my belongings
as you were, always ready
to leave...

~

RNH

in the ice rink

the drip of guitar strings
circles me, circles me
skates
around my trembling pedestal
the bucket, not yet
kicked in, crooked
the step-stool shaking
forces me to question
the why and the reason
and the will for me
to stand here
and endure this
ridicule
on thin, fast-shrinking ice...

~

RNH

crossing the ravine

interwoven dark and light
the braid of parallels
coiling inside
the chasm i feared
could unhinge on sight
contracts in the view
of our bridge, close and bright.

~

RNH

handhold

I climbed up black, sharp rocks
The hill steep, slippery
Slope, if you let it
I continued
Gauging the fear
And the distance
Knowing my hands would
Hold in the right places.

~

RNH

one if by...

light blinks in the water
like frozen thoughts
thawing
submerged, inundated with details
and the signals keep ticking
your subtle technology
filters through my darkness, my silence, and my dreams...

~

RNH

smitten company

they say three is company
a party in the making
chaos in the dividends
starting up the anarchy
but i will take my chair
and pull it an inch closer or two
nothing could be better
than the thrill
of me and you.

~

RNH

tea time

tilted fuzzy mustache
pours the tea
disturbs the context
swirls the drunken rabbit's
sugar
in his white cup, collecting
sand
in beach shoes.

~

RNH

elf love

traced your ear up to its point
with my long, thin fingertips
and laughed at your soft, messy hair
as unkempt as the bed you keep
in disarray, the sheets all twirled
your clothes perpetually wrinkled and yet
i would not love you more if you were without
imperfections, the reasons
i cherish you most.

~

RNH

venerable clown

exasperated silhouette
conjures your ghost
implores the mask of audience
to believe
and revels in the spotlight, the magic
and the dust
of an old, faded clown still
performing beautiful tricks.

~

RNH

the noose

hung up
by the noose you created
your own devastation
a form of foreplay
when your elbows unhinge,
the weight of the stock bars
crushing,
remember the choices you made...

~

RNH

tattoo

i will not let you touch me
the skin already marked, begins
to take its own design entirely
self-determined
self ascends
to peaks, uncharted
land, unclaimed
i am my own
unaltered name
when the ink denotes the writer      
know that i will stay the same. 

~

RNH

Dia de los Muertos

death in a mask
in a face painted red
black and white, with the eyes
hollowed out, caving in
and the teeth, gritting, bared
straight through the gates of hell
came the little broken child
to haunt
you for all your days.

~

RNH

the color of duplicity

the paint peeled back like a promise
you could not keep, the edges
regretting their permanence and deceit
in the guilty pale ink retreating, curling doubt high
with the color of duplicity
engrained within your eyes. 

~

RNH

little boat

she's worried in her little boat,
rolling and pitching
the waves are tremendous, the ship
almost flipping
but take heart, she holds on
the compass points true
love will always lead her
to the same spot,
straight to you.

~

RNH

blue blanket

the sky was so blue
it merged with the water
one quiet wash
the murmur of a dreaming,
sleeping child
in the arms of his mother
the warmest, safest haven
to be wrapped
in the blanket, rocking
as the gentle sea.

~

RNH

carry

she said, lean back, give
your weight to me
i will help you float
rest your worried head
in my hands, i will
bear the load, i carry
the stress, no burden
to confess, this
is my privilege to hold
you close
here, your home is in my heart
for this life and forever more.

~

RNH

rust

you lay in me
as a rusted spike
a thorn
i could not kill
the sharp edge turning
in its cylinder
motion raking, shrieking shrill
the painful memories
have little teeth
staples burn in parallel pins
i twist in the grasp
of such fine torture
content, this is only as deep as my skin.

~

RNH

sovereign

i would not be a posable doll
if i were a toy
in fact, i would not be
a toy at all
but some other creature, by choice
i would not be
pretty or
perfect or
bendable
knowing
just what you wanted from me
instead, i
would be a will
of my own making
my body, my sovereignty.

~

RNH

firestorm

flame went up like a curtain
lit the furniture
climbing the walls
and it inhaled all of our history
consuming regret, devouring fault
and it swept the sadness and silence
under its orange and burgundy wave
and i watched from my dream in the darkness
knowing there was nothing i could save.

~

RNH

core

if you are not the match, you are the flame
if you are not the striking motion,
you are the exhaled name
if you are not my fiery
lava center
you are the core that surrounds
the volatile forces, making them whole.

~

RNH

after the fight

locker room smells like a fight
the salt of sweat, the heat
of body and inertia combined
and the soap drifts
slowly like steam
making the tile shiny
white towel
tied
around my waist.

~

RNH

the loss

the boxer, covered in sweat
near tears, one eye swollen
the ring of smokey black darkens
with the bruising
covering
the aching
a burning sting
the loss of integrity
greater than any win.

~

RNH

jackpot

you left me in the casino
i came back
to the same spot
to find you
gone
and while the machines jingled, singing
their whirling song, i stood
silent
staring at the black
empty chair.

~

RNH

only a giraffe

there was no elephant in the room this time
only a giraffe
there was nothing to hide, no secret
to keep
only something so tall
it almost hit its head on the ceiling
the love, reeling
god still telling the joke
about how a horse and a cow and the strangeness
of life made it so beautiful
it almost hurt to walk away.

~

RNH

Scuffle

Grabbed him by the scruff of the neck
Threw him to the ground
Blocked one fist and then
Another, swung mine
Squarely at his chin
And slammed him back into the wood floor
Bar stools sliding, people shocked
I focused only on his scared face,
"Don't you ever come near her again."

~

RNH

beads

rain collecting in beads
splinters rainbows
divides the light into infinite
prisms
turns the kaleidoscope
pooling the purples and greens
in the caught, curved meniscus.

~

RNH

absolute ceiling

the sky reached up like an endless chorus
echoing through the clouds and the breeze
and i did not fear the obstacles before us
neither time nor distance could alter how i feel.

~

RNH

sunset

the sun tilted off of your shoulders
arms strong, palms out
v-shaped limbs
you dove
into the sparkling water
light glinting off of your smooth, brown skin.

~

RNH

halves of a circle

they held hands on the bed
like broken pieces
the two halves of a circle
found completion
when everything fell apart and lost
its meaning, they knew
they would always have each other.

~

RNH

doves

wings, white and delicate
fluttered and shifted
the thin, hollow fibers
encumbered, then lifted
the still woman shrouded
by the flock that surrounded
white dress and light body
disappeared and took flight.

~

RNH

the archer

arm to arrow to curl of fire
the bow, an extension
coiling, inspired
the patience to wait
as the purpose cuts by her
eyes tracking the fast
moving stars...

~

RNH

dark room

swung the flashlight
in the dark room
looking for the origin
of the crash and the bolt
of jagged shadow
the blur seeking shelter
the ghost of desire
climbing in my eyes.

~

RNH

Promise

When the hesitation points to a greater dilemma,
I will not expect more than I can give.

~

RNH

Two in the Pool

I've got my little ducky in the pool with me
And we are determined
To ride this one out
Seat belts strapped in
And game faces on
Bring it, unpredictable life
Bring it.

~

RNH

expressive

ink dripped down your back
you, unfinished drawing
you, incomplete
cartwheeling, pulling
the circumstance penned in your details
my cursive
swirling each contour and face.

~

RNH

singed

remember that day
when your skin pulled back
like paper
burnt on the edges and fragile
as the extension of yourself
to people you do not
trust
the question, only a matter
of time
and the pressure
of fingers to wrist
remember when the pain felt
just like this
when you could not
get away
from the fear of repetition
and the closing door's admission
that you are scarred, singed
with disbelief.

~

RNH

cloud-borne

cloud-borne jellyfish
surfs your train of thought
imitates laughter
closes the curtain caught
tail of exposure
taut, fierce inhibition
and i am in love
with this disaster.

~

RNH

Bar Scene

We sat heavy on our bar stools
And each
Stared into another machine
Grounded by our immediacy
Weighted by the imminent need
To know
Right now
Connect
Disconnect
And while we watched
The sky darkened in our peripheral
The world moved whole time
Zones while we waited
For the next update
To buzz
In our hands
To solve
The unspeakable riddle.

~

RNH

delicate things

took an interest in the delicate things
little flowers, ivy curling
ring around your soft, long finger
lost in bright eagle eyes

i know i am being watched

untying little knots, i am
your own keen sailor
the rope of your hair tethered
to fond memories
i brush

curtains from your eyes
veiling your shy witness
illuminated, i find

myself in you.

~

RNH

ribbon

she was a monument
chiseled prism
iron crystal
turning bright
and her edges
black and crimson
soaked your vision
blanketing light 
pulled
the ribbon of her body
wrapped it tightly around you.

~

RNH

unfit

i let the description drift
the explanation unfit
the tag misplaced and misleading
i did not come here for this
that is not mine
and you are not what i thought.

~

RNH

close fight

she severed off her appendages
no longer needing them
no longer reaching or standing
she moved, only
inside
the visceral fight
thrashing between belief and doubt.

~

RNH

target

shot full of arrows
the predator delivered up as prey
length of shafts radiating like pollen
spray of lethality causing the fray
of fur to flower
steel to tutu
wreathe of fury in her hair
the predator slung over new-found shoulders
snarling, writhing in the snare. 

~

RNH

in the dark

in the dark, i cannot speak to you
except through the palms of your hands
my shapes indicating expression
when my words trickle like sand
spilling through
your silent fingers
swept away
swollen with time
i ache to find some common ground with you
keep fading into the night.

~

RNH

touch

hand to the pillow
clutching the last thing you owned
holding the last thing you touched
touching the last place you were
and it is here
that i wish for tranquility
knowing i will never
settle
for anything.

~

RNH

lionness

her dandelion face
metallic melted with the pain
oozing purple, pink and black
jaded fading to the cracks
in her gentle violet mane
violence whispers your loud name.

~

RNH

markings

the numbers fly off the clock
gilded industry
molten illusion to time fixed
or fleeting
i carry
these images of you
lines marking
the words to my memory
these promises to heart.

~

RNH

open vessel

if you were reduced to your capillaries
your veins pumping
your arteries demanding
your network sprawling out before me
tell me
how could you now lie
if i saw your beating heart
your temper pushing stop
to start, your blood flow
blinking as a traffic light
i would tell you when to go.

~

RNH

twin girls

they were twin girls
one in the swings, one
on the grass
playing with their toys
happily deciding the fate of others
and their hair shone
bright in the sun
swished in the wind
laughter rang out
as clear as a silver bell
until
the chain broke, the body thrown
little arms and face harmed
skull to a rock where a pillow
should have been
and i awoke, in a sweat
from the dream that stole
my secrets
and grieved for the children
already lost.

~

RNH

back to the sun

you stood with your back to the sun
and lamented
you expected
me to wipe away these tears
and forget that you used me
ensnared and consumed me
and still walked away, unaffected.

~

RNH

accordingly

i will put on my jacket today, as tomorrow
i will fasten the buttons in the same way
i will address this function
of living apportioned
i will divide myself
accordingly.

~

RNH

invisible shadows

three martinis later, he
thinks of calling her
three hours go by, he resists
three years of his life, in silhouettes
and invisible chains
she cannot wait
anymore.

~

RNH

prayer state

toes and knees and forehead
touching the ground
hands pressed
both contact and boundary
she made this kind of prayer
a symbol
of how close and removed
she could be.

~

RNH

long-distance

the snow was not enough to cover
the ground, still hard and cold from this
year's winter lasted long through spring
the summer, boiling, its quick compensation
i should not
look to those peaks
in the distance
when you cannot
look at yourself.

~

RNH

formerly betrayed

ideally, secure
with confidence, pure
in all motions, forward
succeeding elation.

instead, crushing doubt
when the words won't come out
and this little violent muscle
clenches hard in my chest.

~

RNH

on guard

the covers unfolded
the blanket removed
the unshielded, shown
what i still protect
this vulnerability
sharpens the edges
the guard going up
as i pat it back down.

~

RNH

tilted

orange little sunflower
tilted to the blue sky
ocean with its salt waves
flowing with noon tide
tugging at the blushed skin
glowing in the pooled light
spilling from the quiet stars
every reason that I love you...

~

RNH

sacrifice

the decapitated cross limped
along dragging its false
sense of privilege in the cost
of sacrificing self for love.

~

RNH

rapture

fierce, the capture
turning rapture
hands to claws to swift
disaster, clutching
at the surface where our
two spirals,
collide.

~

RNH

burden

head pulled down by worry, weighted
witness to the cornerstone breaking
anvil for a brain and anchor
swims around cold feet...

~

RNH

branches

tree limbs branching, splitting
life into two factions, keeping
hopeful heart apart from sadness
this, my fortitude
this, my balance
when the future forks between truth
and disappointment,
what will be your say ?

~

RNH

background

back carved out
hollows settle where the doubt
bent the body to its will
patience whittled down, thin
the loose strands of faith fray
wrapped in multiple, aching arms.

~

RNH

flower girl

flower girl
twirls of red and green
pearls of iridescence
curl in each corner
of her mind...

~

RNH

smoke

smoke drifts ghost-like
swivels in the atmosphere
drags its long tail
through the chemicals and burning air
sizzles on the skin
poison perfect in its mutability
icing dripping off the long fingers...

~

RNH

this new thing

she bent her head, curious
to name this new thing
to acquire its action
its existence, pattern
and reason for being
what true name to give, we
wriggle our antennae
and shimmer in the air.

~

RNH

sine wave

the drama, exciting
the nerves shake, inviting
a new strand of ups and downs
roller coaster love
little left when the upset sits
the agony calms
the emotions quit
their painful duty
of filling you in
i remember that void
and that place.

~

RNH

faithful machine

when did the robot
grow wings and take off
when did the bruised child
learn to love again
when did the mechanics
of the codependent break apart
and realize I am more
than your machine.

~

RNH

Astronaut I

I'll have my suit on
zipped and strapped in
velcro latched and buttons snapped
twin patches for my time and bravery
moon reflected in my visor.

~

RNH

orphan

orphaned planet
floats alone
swirling in its dark blue
poles pulled by opposites
and control
lost in spinning
ellipses...

~

RNH

flamingos

two flamingos
heads bent, touching
form a perfect heart
a feathery cushion
home when the sky simply
cannot contain
two hearts, one love
and the promise of forever.

~

RNH

handstand

she was half in a box
and half underground
and half tumbled over, with her legs
sticking out and the mess
that she made was no contest
to all this
a myriad of perspectives
being buried in a handstand.

~

RNH

dream in a bubble

kept the dream in a bubble
so as not to lose it
wrapped it
held it at arms length
above you
stared in the pool
light refracted by movement
and waited
for it to change.

~

RNH

car slid

the side of the car slid
through the air like a mirror, aqua
and liquid-like
it glimmered, flashing
reflection upon reflection
both eyes following the sound
of an amphibious machine.
 
~

RNH

false split

there was a false split in the person
an untrue binary grinding its teeth
in the entity, dualism
duking its way out of contradiction
and the I, caught somewhere in between.

~

RNH

when everything

when everything has an ad on it
when every thought is a commercial
what will be left
with grace and individuality
when everything turns into a product.

~

RNH

molecular bonding

your molecules were reflected
by five mirrors
one on each side
one beneath and the pyramid
of what you are made of
shone like a slot machine
the winnings, your laughter, pouring out...

~

RNH

the wound

i saw beneath your skin
into your very bones
the image failing to show
what they did to you
and how the neglect
made you feel
gnawing at the wound inside.

~

RNH

the dotted line

approached the void with trust and kid scissors
hoping to know the place to be severed
if i saw it
maybe i would understand
what needed to be kept
and what left
the difference between holding on
and letting go.

~

RNH

by the numbers

surrounded by floating equations
she had been doing math
since she could count on her fingers
and minus the harm you could cause her
she added the benefits
subtracting the pain, tallied
evidence  
loving by only the numbers
she rationalized the loneliness
bent on solving
the parabola.

~

RNH

angels

we made angels with bare hands and feet
tromped along the shore, legs heavy in the beach
sand shifting with our weight, entire castles
lay defeated by a swung arm
laughing at the pillage and swift recreation.

~

RNH

out to sea

i might take my boat and wander
off through green-blue waters, surf
the tide as much as my desire
is to be free, but honest first
i know that every sparkling island
distance shows with much reprieve
careful where you steer the vessel
illusion glitters as well as it deceives.

~

RNH

Icarus

met with a wall of water
as dark as the rock
the sheer cliff, diving
before her
knees bent, ankles clenched
she held
her arms outstretched, as a hawk
taking flight.

~

RNH

Crucified

i did not need to see your face
i knew your body as a cross
the edges and its intersections
braille under my moving fingers
taught the senses to dismiss
fear and failure, warnings, bliss
the ignorance of trust 
perceived
a blind girl to your nails.

~

RNH

In Chains

boxes for the mind
compartmentalization of theory
personality restricted, confined
to the basement, to the prison
if the fragments do not
convalesce, the whole never attained
there will be no peace or sanity
for the identity in chains.

~

RNH

Rose

she rose from the river
swirling black
and gathered the train of her dress
soaked, wrapped
it around her forearm
clenched fists
jaw set in a hard line
stood against the raging storm
and chose to save herself.

~

RNH

Lava

molten figure
lava flowing
golden musculature
flexes, owning
body carved in L-shapes
bowing
frame surrenders
to hunger and pulse.

~

RNH

Suitcase

ribcage of a plane tilts
sky held
like hands to a child's steps
first,
wings totter, then they bolt
and you cannot find them
a veritable dot
on the horizon.

~

RNH

Awake

when i stayed up late worrying
you slept
when i hugged my knees
you closed your eyes
i kept
my mouth shut, locked
my secrets in the deepest wells
of memory
now i cannot reach for them
without thinking
it was not worth it.

~

RNH

One-Second Circle

the barrel looked back at him
with a hollow eye
envied the will and flesh
wished for its own supply
of kinetic
energy forcing out the existence of one life
and instantly
taking another.

~

RNH

The Explorer

woman on a cliff
coat billows in the wind
one foot placed bravely
in front of the other

not knowing
what the horizon
might bring
is no obstacle

she will discover the day.

~

RNH

Carcass

tied to the rack
limbs stretched out, X-like
muscles tense, struggling
to hang without weight
tearing into strained muscles
being dividing being
bloodied animal
lurking in the human's spread skin.

~

RNH

Posing Silent

i had never seen anything as beautiful as you
and i tore down their images, paper splitting
in my hands
as cloth and skin and material
united
so much was interwoven, so much was designed
to blind you, bind you, and extricate
your voice
when i longed, most of all, to hear you speak.

~

RNH

The Heart's Appendages

when your heart walked off with your sanity
said, see ya later !
and exited, confident that its appendages
would carry it home
in cowboy boots and a hitched-up long skirt
dragging,
getting wet in the rain
you marched off, too,
and acted like you would not miss it
the cavern in your chest, just a crease.

~

RNH

She Said Why

she said, why must we be half-naked
to convey power?
i said, i don't know.
she said, why
do we strip
ourselves of integrity, but still feel
the need to show
our flesh at our weakest?
no man
would so openly betray himself,
and yet,
we do.
we wear our vulnerability like a coat
of bare arms.
i shook my head,
and turned from the mirror.

~

RNH

under the waterfall

the water covered
whether you were male or female
whether you cried or desired
only to hide for a moment
and the water found you
for what you are
at your purest, shimmering core
at the end of the world
you shone, unafraid.

~

RNH

star shock

she was a star trapped
by her own points, tripped
on her own stairs, lost
with her own gaze and she kept looking
at the crowd, caught
by the one face, shocked
knowing its you, dropped
onto all fours and fives and started praying.

~

RNH

enamored with the clown

bullet-pointed nose
one monocle eye
the other, glass painted
blue on the side
facing me
you repel and interest
at once
and i press your crooked laugh into mine.

~

RNH

wave it proud

wave it proud
wriggle the loud, bright
flag of purpose, you own it
no one could ever steal
your focus, like the rippled
sounds crashing the current
page contours to your voice and your move.

~

RNH

Truth

Do not be the echo
Be the author.

~

RNH

a note

there was a note left
on the wooden end table
an explanation scribbled
on a cocktail napkin
the words curled
upon themselves, wishing
like the ocean, to never return
and yet, still coming back.

~

RNH

Waking

after the door shut
there were only your footsteps in the hallway
fading
after the light switch
the darkness bringing
flashbacks and after the nightmare
the sudden waking
to cold on my fingers
your name on my lips.

~

RNH

Adam

he is telling one of his stories
on the couch, eyes looking
forward, to another point
he drifts away
smoke spilling quietly from his cigarette
drawing
diagrams in the air
for when he
loses his place.

~

RNH

More than the Body

there were no mornings left
to wake up to
a headache and bitter taste
the argument last night

lingering like your
cologne
hidden under my clothes
reverberating contact and desire

and now i can say i am gone
the agency rising from dependency
more than the body
you imagined me.

~

RNH 

on the counter

girl, once
girl, before
perched on the counter, tapping
heels to the door
waiting to be picked up
noticed
and loved
she is still
the girl you left behind.

~

RNH

Canvas

torn between brittle drops of paint
the tendencies of guilt
carving the expression, the same
dripping trust to a smear
if you cannot feel the space
between self and     other
you
will not be free. 

~

RNH

elbows and knees

she was a blur of touch
and smell, bright summer flowers
and long, dark hair, soft
face and stomach, edges sharp
only when her elbows and knees, laughing,
knocked into mine.

~

RNH

Four Faces

there were four faces
and one of them was mine
glinting
reflecting
anger like a diamond
prism pulled and stretched at corners
pairs of dark-circled eyes
beware the focus of four faces
when you have something to hide.

~

RNH

Come to Me

come to me
with your scars and pieces
come to me
with your terrors and shame
come to me
with your greatest of errors
your faulty, bad habits
your impulsive sways
and let go the guilt
and the rigid shell masking 
the need that you fear
and the hurt you have annexed
to dark, hidden places
when nothing i can say
will console you
come here,
let me hold you.

~

RNH

tissue

the skin pulled taut
where the line had been drawn
and severed
entered and splintered
what was one, now
separate
the flesh slowly sewn back together
knowing how to heal,
in spite of you.

~

RNH

The Door

they say, out of great pain
comes great art
and writing
out of great sadness,
brings joy
i am standing,
waiting
for the door to keep turning
i will push
just
let me in.

~

RNH

On the Corner of the Bed

you waited on the corner of the bed
for me to leave
i packed my things with my shaking
hands, i would not touch
you, breathe
in every shade of exhaustion
and kept rage, it shimmers
in your eyes
this is how i imagine
it would end
if i,
instead of you,
left.

~

RNH

Hinges

body, a twig
tough, waiting
to be broken
aching frame in your hands
long extension, small release
when the comfort is bitter
and brittle
as the truth, i
do not belong
here
snapping
at each hinge.

~

RNH

green-black sky

with arms spread
she soars the surf
her green-black sky
reflecting the depth
within
the kaleidoscope twists
each stone
a glitter of sunlight
cast on her wings.

~

RNH

Cloaked

walking through a ring of light
cloaked in my principles and pride
sheathed by the things i will not do
bending to embrace, bending to you
approval, never the house
i coveted
impulse before my own safety.

~

RNH

Shadow of a Man

shadow of a man
sketched onto the mind's eye
blink
and he disappears
speak
and the spell is broken
made of distorted
smeared corners
of illusion
the path
of least resistance
drawing him away every time...

~

RNH

Drift

there was no surface
to rise up to
no end to the held-breath
no relief from perpetual
sinking
weighted by empty, bubbled words
ankles tied up in a fin.

~

RNH

Cleaver

cleaver to the excess
pare the branches
pare the stem
left with only
what is absolutely
necessary
left with only
a pen
and a darkness i must
scribble myself out of
give it space and lift
my being from the absence
with the cleaver in my hand.

~

RNH

the loop

crushed the dependency
berry grape tendency
purple-stained lips and i can't lie
the truth is
i've run from and destroyed
every chance, a rerun
the loop digging further
into my raw heels.

~

RNH

skeleton boat

skeleton boat
carries you home
sinks you in time gone and memory
revolving the not yet happened around
the happened before
love's eclipse
as inevitable as drowning.

~

RNH

none of those pieces

like glass breaking
the sudden expression
the monster showing open
mouth and claws
extended, the intention
set, unspoken, immovable, i am
none of those pieces
and yet they
break me
and break
me
again.

~

RNH

Crocodile Girl

i will take my tea half
underwater, half
above the horizon line, eyes
blinking crocodile
goldfish
i dare you
cross me again and forget
the teeth beneath the surface
will cost you more than your
china set clinks.

~

RNH

Just Born

layers falling away
like cicada shells
reprieved
skin from new skin
the dawn, a body
just born
into this world
awake, alive and fragile.

~

RNH

Our Shelter

no bed to sleep on

I'll make do

I'll cushion the night

with the memory of you

I recognize

what they can't see through

I'll rewrite the lies

and buoy the truth

and we'll sail together

Our wings foolproof

Our shelter, the sky

and the stars and the moon.

 

~

RNH

The Existentialist

took the scissors to existence
marking i except from them
carving light exempt of darkness
glowing furnace, scars within
blowing gently on the fire
coals environed, gold and red
figure luminous in the pyre
rising mightily from the dead.

~

RNH

Forest for the Trees

the firs
stood against the skyline
defiant
not defined
by anything other
than their own
no one's shadow
i envied
their fortitude
in solitude
and longed for the same
strength within myself.

~

RNH

summer field

her hands flit through the golden stalks
thin and shifting with the wind
sea of grass
billows and tumbles, its song
lifting, settling, spins
and she walks through the amber light
her spirit encouraged
growing within.

~

RNH

Tarpaulin

we try to cover
our frailties
with joking and laughter
we try to hide
our insecurities
with sarcasm
we try to run
from our fear and make it look like
we are just walking away
in slow motion
in the opposite direction.

~

RNH

Hide

i turned you, but did not find a face
flipped you around, but saw no front
i spun you slowly in my hands
looking for an answer
seeing only the long, parted
hair, dark veil
over the windows and the eyes
when death filled the hallways
and hid your heart from me.

~

RNH

mimicry

i learned
at a very early age
to observe
pay attention, be quiet
the habits of a stranger
inhabiting a strange, new world
lonely
never at home
always molding the chameleon face
to match yours
i look
at this change as a possibility
when the most important skill
i have is
the adaptation
of mimicry.

~

RNH

cut puzzle

put together
as pieces of a cut puzzle
overlapping leaves of integrated thought
litter
turning to project to magic
the evidence found in the profundity of art

placing shadows carefully
open to folding, open
to the hesitant and rush
of capturing who you are 
the loveable creases on your forehead
the flexed joints of your hips.

~

RNH

Inexplicable

she said, nothing is planned, really
as if noting the chaos of the universe
would somehow explain it
why bad things happen to good people
why good things happen to you
as if that were truth
the void upon void, inexplicable
action upon action, futile
the message, imbibed, i
cannot bury my instincts
i believe there is meaning
in everything.

~

RNH

Building a Family

the home gave birth to clouds
and spoke in riddles
word bubbles rising from the chimney
and the walls leaned against each other
emulating comfort
admiring the family they had built.

~

RNH

Winged

i imagined a butterfly
and imagined escape
and two wings grew
from the middle of my back
and i watched as the fantasy flew
away and returned
to me
while i impatiently sat.

~

RNH

One Embrace

the round arms held a smaller being
which held an even smaller being
which held a child
and the world was never lonely
knowing you were only
one palm-width away
i need merely reach up
and feel loved.

~

RNH

Hunter

tilted head of the hunter
unbowed, focused
lowered to achieve best aim
mane arching stiffly in profile
claws ready
moments from devouring its prey.

~

RNH

collapse

city collapsed in shadow
urgency woven with depression
gray giving highlight
to the cheekbones of a woman
distracted by details and events framing her
beyond control.

~

RNH

The Wick

blacker than midnight and the words
stained like the light
from a man on fire
the torched heart, set free
the scarecrow self uncertain
what is life,
what is death.

~

RNH

taillights to taillights

when we lined up
pairing taillights next to taillights
infinite red-eyed snails
we listened
to the banter
on the station
to the motor's rail
groaning that it's moving,
not yet moving, working still
and the smattering of neon in the night sky
made its own kind of symphony and thrill.

~

RNH

Not My Home

left in a room
with your photographs
and your small voice laughing
pound of small feet running
in the hallway
chases me down
and my instinct
just to flee
and leave this place, in frames
intact
claws up, choking around my ears
instead, i wait
imitating the glass.

~

RNH

Flattery

when the comment smoothed
like oil
on fingers through coiled
curly hair
i grimaced and turned
wanting to unlearn
wanting to memorize
what you felt
the pillow-like, mushed
the billowy, crushed
the gentle seam pulled tight, wrinkling
the line was wasted on a puppet
clinging to ill-formed flattery.

~

RNH

The Artist

splatter of paint
indicates fire
heat turning liquid turns
conquest to gold
caressing what you wept for
tears sliding patient
glass to the untied slip, floor
hits and slowly
arches the circle, revels
in one metal link to the other
cuffed half
and the canvas only can listen
i coax and glisten
knowing you will do what i ask. 

~

RNH

Open Symbol

lines of neck and collarbone
traced in soft beige
burnt in light 
image saturated in pigment
loss and capture, hollows
ignite
the sharp inhalation
touch and possession
fingerprints left where desire
surrenders
to an open
symbol of vulnerability
waiting to be seen.

~

RNH

If Leaving

if leaving was an option
for the faithful
for the one that stayed

if leaving was a breath
taken and released
only to be filled again

if leaving was not permanent
flawed and fatal
diving from the edge

then i would not be tearing pictures
and you would still be here.

~

RNH

Swim

rising from the surface
muscle moves through negative space
forming agency from emptiness
as the glass is hit with the flame
turning spit on her existence
plastic eyelids keeping closed
i learned to swim against resistance
when you sink into your throes.

~

RNH

Adamant

slapped with a sticker
this i know, this
rings familiar
chanting purpose to the victim
yes, i notice
what you are

recognized the old polemic
all is pouring, tragic rain
when you are adamant
on not changing
i hear exactly
what you say.

~

RNH

Gorgon

when met with the sea of terrible
wind of memory, downpour of grief
i shout in syllables
unrecognizable
silhouette soaked, disavowing defeat
i raise my voice
to verbally move
the wall, the towering, violent beast
shrieking, it bends
bowed by the honesty
i am still here
i am not afraid.

~

RNH

structure

edges marked in charcoal
where i appear
where i disappear

squares and corners
of a playground
of a staircase, stones
projected

contrast relief

carving substance from the substance
crest to core
only structure can define you
smudge and rewrite
what you will.

~

RNH

The Horizon

you were so much like the ocean
and not the rain
so much like the heartache
and not the pain
from one pricked finger
no
you flooded me over like the horizon
endless
as a sunset full of colors.

~

RNH

Divisible

Divided by thin lines
Splitting hairs
Plucking petals
Trying to manipulate the outcome
Control the random
Reading the one that you want
Decisions left up in the air
to forces like fate
and chance
and temper
I would never
Want to be so bitter
and caged in by what is divisible. 

~

RNH

The Thread

Thread through the puzzle pieces
Interlocking seams of light
Lasso around the central feeling
Freedom in knowing it
Freedom in sight

Equality not for a chosen few
More than about me
More than about you
Reverberating on the cord that connects
Us, together

The indomitability of love.

~

RNH

In This House

in this house
we know that the little moments
count the most
our dishes can wait in the sink

in this house
we value our vulnerability
soft can also be strong
giving does not make you weak

in this house
we strive to be patient
even when we have no patience
even when we feel pushed to the wall

in this house
we celebrate diversity
we love with every fiber of being
we are as strong as our word.

~

RNH

Tin Pan

making more noise to make more noise
a toddler with a tin pan
would be more efficient

you blare out opinion
without any discipline
to define it
your message lost
in the blur and the cacophony.

~

RNH

peek

there is a rusted door
creaking open
a locked vault
clicking through possible codes
though never quite right
the hinge always clenched tight
you can still see
the luminous heart
peek and close. 

~

RNH

Haunting You

liquid mirages, fazes
echo on slow repeat decays as
slipping yellow blocks are painted
across with truth, down with worth
and the trust
fizzles
to a fine point
singed wet wick lit
charcoal havoc
and i withdraw further into
my fog of dissonance
haunting you.

~

RNH

Soft Self-Portrait

chin resting on a golden pitchfork
another through the eye
and cheek
the smeared face, a mask, a cheat
at death, the artist
basks in metaphors
playing on the portrait--is a portrait
of a scene
the self could never be fully
contained
an image is only
what you see.

~

RNH

bridge

building a great big bridge
to nowhere
horizon lost
to an unimagined space
the hill and the crest, no different from the dotted line
flat red echoing
the nonexistent pace
i
nod and agree and cringe
at the directions
to be silent and simple
to stand in one place.

~

RNH

turquoise

dove into the sparkling pool
a turquoise jem, a liquid moon
the cool cascading over me
silent, safe and smooth.

~

RNH

ladder

out of this life
there should be a ladder
and out of the darkness
another bright door
moving from earthly to ethereal
must be so much like a dance
the body lost
in the rhythm
and the flow
changing from blossom to flower
from bud to the branch
from pea-sized to the dreamer that you are
must be the same force
infinite in the beginning
as in the end
written in the burning of the stars.

~

RNH

coil

periods of time marked off the horizon
segmented line of existence
coiled in a shell, life prisoned
in a cell
rife possibilities
of encumbrance, of desire
what would you do to unfasten from the dry husk
shedding each carapace, in turn ?   

~

RNH

Intangible

tell me a story

tell me about that time
you got lost in the woods with your dog
and did not turn back

tell me about the time
you forgot how old you were
someone asking right after a birthday
and you had to subtract the years

tell me how you fell in love
and deeply
and had your heart broken
and swore
you would never fall again
then
tell me how you did

and tell me how you knew
this was forever
tell me how the best things are intangible

tell me about that night
when you stayed out way too late
and exhausted, almost passed out at the wheel
tell me how you slammed the brakes

tell me how you lost someone
to a car accident
to illness
to time

tell me how you remember it all
and would not change a thing

how your palms and knees
crashed
screaming into the asphalt
and you still made it home

tell me the words to your favorite song

tell me your stories

i know you have them, too.

~

RNH

occasionally

occasionally, walking to the door to greet you
sometimes, holding it open
every now and then, shut it and begin
to ask you about your day and how
you were feeling
i never
felt like you were listening
and it burned
like a slow cigarette torch put out
on my skin
i remember every time you kept me at a distance
i remember every time i let you in.

~

RNH

Reaper

hopefully you were not on hands and knees
searching the carpet for a lost earring back
hopefully you were not fishing around
in your black hole of a purse
blindly, for your keys 
hopefully you were not blinking harshly
at a bright Sunday morning
after an all-nighter binge
hopefully death approached you as a friend
someone familiar, you were expecting
and would recognize.

~

RNH

sing-song

like a movie you cannot remember the name of
the actor you cannot recall
that time you hummed the song's verse
to revisit its title
the chorus, like so many other choruses, goes
through your ears and your veins
trumpet thinning to widen
your mind feeling lately
so much like a sieve
you rattle a pattern
and tap out a rhythm
and sing
what it is that you need.

~

RNH

parasol

twirling parasol, bright red and yellow
ruffles of fabric
shimmer in the light
strong wooden handle supports the soft shadow
thin wooden lattice lifts up to the sky
the delicate lace and the little sewn corners
someone's great-grandmother's hands
know the shape
and the patience it takes
for fragility to endure
for now, the great-granddaughter skips
in its shade.

~

RNH

The Big Fight

Eleanor goes to Panda's tent.
Knocks softly on the dresser.
Panda turns her black and white head,
"Hey, there, Ellie. How's the weather?"
Notes her sad face, "Aww, what's wrong? Who
made my little white bear blue?"
Sighing, Ellie says, "The world is strange
and dark and cold and cruel.
I try to do what's right and give
my best and give my all.
Sometimes, it seems, it's not enough.
Being little is just too small."
Panda nods, "I know that feeling,
like your turns just aren't spot on.
Your food just doesn't taste as good.
Your jumps not worth applause.
Everyone has their bad days, life is,
after all, a circus.
The clowns don't always make us laugh.
The performance is not always perfect.
But that doesn't effect our love!" She smiles,
and gives Eleanor a big hug.
"The glum and gloom will not prevail.
Your heart will rise, just like the sun.
Each dawn is a new day and every
darkness recedes to the light.
Just because you are little
doesn't mean you can't win the big fight."

~

RNH

the blanket

i snuggled into the thought
of warmth and security forever
and though the shape of the blanket may change
the bluest blue you have ever seen
will remain the same
context gives you the width
and time will give you the length
it is the miracle of perception
to see the indefinite in everything.

~

RNH

marvel

like a clearing in the meadow
a sparkle in the fog
like a picture in a rainy windshield
you reveal yourself to me
and i marvel
leaning on elbows
at your bright, magnetic sky
and i wait for the clouds to assemble
show me
how to love you more.

~

RNH

evolution

cut with gravel and the rocky surface
the evolving terrain of grief
stagger and stumble over the emotions
and the landslides of defeat

i prefer all this

with crimson knees, the air a brutal
violent kiss
than being like        you
as transparent as the wind

i feel, therefore, i exist.

~

RNH

the debris

sifting through the debris, the memories, the clutter
the testaments to how
things used to be
shuffling through the photographs, the soundtracks
the sheets of poetry
writhing in the images
and the unspoken cadences
sleepwalking awake
the nightmare
always
a woman in quicksand
reaching
out for me.

~

RNH

on the stone steps

statue, stern and looming

chiseled face

his look, unmoving

and his heart, just as immobile

solid marble through and through

searched for fissures

in the surface, maybe time

would prove its context

and the writing on the stone steps

show you where

I could have been.

~

RNH

siren anchored

she's covered in mud
and it's so thick, it blinds
her tools long dropped
unused
now they further anchor the mortar
she's relinquished her senses
to what the little voices tell her
in her cocoon
i watch
her hands fall to the sides, congealed.

~

RNH

scar

fitted to the witness
guilt and blame and lust and dripping eyes
unable to help this
burning crusted scar, ripping the sides
admitting any healing must be
god
or demon
flexing fist
i tear and
start all over
never needing love like this.

~

RNH

under the periscope

I bent my opinion under the microscope
under the periscope's depth
I waited
to see you better
I quartered my eyes
and severed my fingers
So I could better understand.

~

RNH

Eleanor's Vest

Eleanor's vest of bright red velvet
crushed to perfection, shimmers in the tent's lights
buttoned with three gold buttons, all twinkling
tasseled with three black tassels, all swiveling
Decked out in her costume, she smiles
Tips her little black hat
to the crowd.

~

RNH

Eleanor

Eleanor, the little white bear
in tutu and hat and bells
juggles for the applauding crowd
amazed and gasping at the air
filled with little red balls
melting to a blur
tossed with the greatest of ease
Eleanor, the little white bear
takes one last turn,
bows
and leaves.

~

RNH

pirouette

pirouette under a cloudy sky
twirl gives the shadows a new color
the blue and the brushes in between
the tresses of perspective spin
shaking my worried, worried head
i will not be what i was before
i will not stand in the same place.

~

RNH

ringed

ringed like a spherical vase
turning soft elliptical clay
transforming volume
into mass
to outline
the trace of your jawbone
cupping palm to the halo
days embalmed by the circling joy
the shape of your love.

~

RNH

calligraphy

i could see it in your hands
the way they laid down your language
in boxy block-like capital letters
in swirling, deviant cursive words
when your expression tried to stay veiled
when your sentences wove a dark ruse
when you could not be honest with me
your hands told me the truth.

~

RNH

diamond splintered

diamond splintered, littered
paradigms bent
around your accidental truth
the one you would only tell
me if i begged
in the right tone of voice
with my knees scraped just enough.

~

RNH

plaster

little fingers wrap around an open hand
with earnest trust
imagine if the palm was closed
imagine if a fist replaced
the willing, giving caretaker's face
a shut screen door
the wire
caged
both you and i, a mask between
years spent raking it off...

~

RNH

when the sun came up

when the sun came up
so did the morning
time entwined with nature
roots to tree to iridescent
light
reminiscing on all
the summers before
and the new, not yet bloomed
white flowers of spring...

~

RNH

blank

the pointlessness rose to aggravation
the blank finding meaning with repetition
repetition
repetition
I swung my iron sword of volition
slicing at empty air
accomplishing nothing...

~

RNH

so she closed

there was a woman on the train today
with eyes too heavy to read
or see, so she closed
her blinds to the outside
reflected on the inside
the memories of light
and taste and touch
and allowed her buoyant mind to wander
among the deep grass, ideas green and plush...

~

RNH