one if by...

light blinks in the water
like frozen thoughts
thawing
submerged, inundated with details
and the signals keep ticking
your subtle technology
filters through my darkness, my silence, and my dreams...

~

RNH

smitten company

they say three is company
a party in the making
chaos in the dividends
starting up the anarchy
but i will take my chair
and pull it an inch closer or two
nothing could be better
than the thrill
of me and you.

~

RNH

tea time

tilted fuzzy mustache
pours the tea
disturbs the context
swirls the drunken rabbit's
sugar
in his white cup, collecting
sand
in beach shoes.

~

RNH

elf love

traced your ear up to its point
with my long, thin fingertips
and laughed at your soft, messy hair
as unkempt as the bed you keep
in disarray, the sheets all twirled
your clothes perpetually wrinkled and yet
i would not love you more if you were without
imperfections, the reasons
i cherish you most.

~

RNH

venerable clown

exasperated silhouette
conjures your ghost
implores the mask of audience
to believe
and revels in the spotlight, the magic
and the dust
of an old, faded clown still
performing beautiful tricks.

~

RNH

the noose

hung up
by the noose you created
your own devastation
a form of foreplay
when your elbows unhinge,
the weight of the stock bars
crushing,
remember the choices you made...

~

RNH

tattoo

i will not let you touch me
the skin already marked, begins
to take its own design entirely
self-determined
self ascends
to peaks, uncharted
land, unclaimed
i am my own
unaltered name
when the ink denotes the writer      
know that i will stay the same. 

~

RNH

Dia de los Muertos

death in a mask
in a face painted red
black and white, with the eyes
hollowed out, caving in
and the teeth, gritting, bared
straight through the gates of hell
came the little broken child
to haunt
you for all your days.

~

RNH

the color of duplicity

the paint peeled back like a promise
you could not keep, the edges
regretting their permanence and deceit
in the guilty pale ink retreating, curling doubt high
with the color of duplicity
engrained within your eyes. 

~

RNH

little boat

she's worried in her little boat,
rolling and pitching
the waves are tremendous, the ship
almost flipping
but take heart, she holds on
the compass points true
love will always lead her
to the same spot,
straight to you.

~

RNH

blue blanket

the sky was so blue
it merged with the water
one quiet wash
the murmur of a dreaming,
sleeping child
in the arms of his mother
the warmest, safest haven
to be wrapped
in the blanket, rocking
as the gentle sea.

~

RNH

carry

she said, lean back, give
your weight to me
i will help you float
rest your worried head
in my hands, i will
bear the load, i carry
the stress, no burden
to confess, this
is my privilege to hold
you close
here, your home is in my heart
for this life and forever more.

~

RNH

rust

you lay in me
as a rusted spike
a thorn
i could not kill
the sharp edge turning
in its cylinder
motion raking, shrieking shrill
the painful memories
have little teeth
staples burn in parallel pins
i twist in the grasp
of such fine torture
content, this is only as deep as my skin.

~

RNH

sovereign

i would not be a posable doll
if i were a toy
in fact, i would not be
a toy at all
but some other creature, by choice
i would not be
pretty or
perfect or
bendable
knowing
just what you wanted from me
instead, i
would be a will
of my own making
my body, my sovereignty.

~

RNH

firestorm

flame went up like a curtain
lit the furniture
climbing the walls
and it inhaled all of our history
consuming regret, devouring fault
and it swept the sadness and silence
under its orange and burgundy wave
and i watched from my dream in the darkness
knowing there was nothing i could save.

~

RNH

core

if you are not the match, you are the flame
if you are not the striking motion,
you are the exhaled name
if you are not my fiery
lava center
you are the core that surrounds
the volatile forces, making them whole.

~

RNH

after the fight

locker room smells like a fight
the salt of sweat, the heat
of body and inertia combined
and the soap drifts
slowly like steam
making the tile shiny
white towel
tied
around my waist.

~

RNH

the loss

the boxer, covered in sweat
near tears, one eye swollen
the ring of smokey black darkens
with the bruising
covering
the aching
a burning sting
the loss of integrity
greater than any win.

~

RNH

jackpot

you left me in the casino
i came back
to the same spot
to find you
gone
and while the machines jingled, singing
their whirling song, i stood
silent
staring at the black
empty chair.

~

RNH

only a giraffe

there was no elephant in the room this time
only a giraffe
there was nothing to hide, no secret
to keep
only something so tall
it almost hit its head on the ceiling
the love, reeling
god still telling the joke
about how a horse and a cow and the strangeness
of life made it so beautiful
it almost hurt to walk away.

~

RNH

Scuffle

Grabbed him by the scruff of the neck
Threw him to the ground
Blocked one fist and then
Another, swung mine
Squarely at his chin
And slammed him back into the wood floor
Bar stools sliding, people shocked
I focused only on his scared face,
"Don't you ever come near her again."

~

RNH

beads

rain collecting in beads
splinters rainbows
divides the light into infinite
prisms
turns the kaleidoscope
pooling the purples and greens
in the caught, curved meniscus.

~

RNH

absolute ceiling

the sky reached up like an endless chorus
echoing through the clouds and the breeze
and i did not fear the obstacles before us
neither time nor distance could alter how i feel.

~

RNH

sunset

the sun tilted off of your shoulders
arms strong, palms out
v-shaped limbs
you dove
into the sparkling water
light glinting off of your smooth, brown skin.

~

RNH

halves of a circle

they held hands on the bed
like broken pieces
the two halves of a circle
found completion
when everything fell apart and lost
its meaning, they knew
they would always have each other.

~

RNH

doves

wings, white and delicate
fluttered and shifted
the thin, hollow fibers
encumbered, then lifted
the still woman shrouded
by the flock that surrounded
white dress and light body
disappeared and took flight.

~

RNH

the archer

arm to arrow to curl of fire
the bow, an extension
coiling, inspired
the patience to wait
as the purpose cuts by her
eyes tracking the fast
moving stars...

~

RNH

dark room

swung the flashlight
in the dark room
looking for the origin
of the crash and the bolt
of jagged shadow
the blur seeking shelter
the ghost of desire
climbing in my eyes.

~

RNH

Promise

When the hesitation points to a greater dilemma,
I will not expect more than I can give.

~

RNH

Two in the Pool

I've got my little ducky in the pool with me
And we are determined
To ride this one out
Seat belts strapped in
And game faces on
Bring it, unpredictable life
Bring it.

~

RNH

expressive

ink dripped down your back
you, unfinished drawing
you, incomplete
cartwheeling, pulling
the circumstance penned in your details
my cursive
swirling each contour and face.

~

RNH

singed

remember that day
when your skin pulled back
like paper
burnt on the edges and fragile
as the extension of yourself
to people you do not
trust
the question, only a matter
of time
and the pressure
of fingers to wrist
remember when the pain felt
just like this
when you could not
get away
from the fear of repetition
and the closing door's admission
that you are scarred, singed
with disbelief.

~

RNH

cloud-borne

cloud-borne jellyfish
surfs your train of thought
imitates laughter
closes the curtain caught
tail of exposure
taut, fierce inhibition
and i am in love
with this disaster.

~

RNH

Bar Scene

We sat heavy on our bar stools
And each
Stared into another machine
Grounded by our immediacy
Weighted by the imminent need
To know
Right now
Connect
Disconnect
And while we watched
The sky darkened in our peripheral
The world moved whole time
Zones while we waited
For the next update
To buzz
In our hands
To solve
The unspeakable riddle.

~

RNH

delicate things

took an interest in the delicate things
little flowers, ivy curling
ring around your soft, long finger
lost in bright eagle eyes

i know i am being watched

untying little knots, i am
your own keen sailor
the rope of your hair tethered
to fond memories
i brush

curtains from your eyes
veiling your shy witness
illuminated, i find

myself in you.

~

RNH

ribbon

she was a monument
chiseled prism
iron crystal
turning bright
and her edges
black and crimson
soaked your vision
blanketing light 
pulled
the ribbon of her body
wrapped it tightly around you.

~

RNH

unfit

i let the description drift
the explanation unfit
the tag misplaced and misleading
i did not come here for this
that is not mine
and you are not what i thought.

~

RNH

close fight

she severed off her appendages
no longer needing them
no longer reaching or standing
she moved, only
inside
the visceral fight
thrashing between belief and doubt.

~

RNH

target

shot full of arrows
the predator delivered up as prey
length of shafts radiating like pollen
spray of lethality causing the fray
of fur to flower
steel to tutu
wreathe of fury in her hair
the predator slung over new-found shoulders
snarling, writhing in the snare. 

~

RNH

in the dark

in the dark, i cannot speak to you
except through the palms of your hands
my shapes indicating expression
when my words trickle like sand
spilling through
your silent fingers
swept away
swollen with time
i ache to find some common ground with you
keep fading into the night.

~

RNH

touch

hand to the pillow
clutching the last thing you owned
holding the last thing you touched
touching the last place you were
and it is here
that i wish for tranquility
knowing i will never
settle
for anything.

~

RNH

lionness

her dandelion face
metallic melted with the pain
oozing purple, pink and black
jaded fading to the cracks
in her gentle violet mane
violence whispers your loud name.

~

RNH

markings

the numbers fly off the clock
gilded industry
molten illusion to time fixed
or fleeting
i carry
these images of you
lines marking
the words to my memory
these promises to heart.

~

RNH

open vessel

if you were reduced to your capillaries
your veins pumping
your arteries demanding
your network sprawling out before me
tell me
how could you now lie
if i saw your beating heart
your temper pushing stop
to start, your blood flow
blinking as a traffic light
i would tell you when to go.

~

RNH

twin girls

they were twin girls
one in the swings, one
on the grass
playing with their toys
happily deciding the fate of others
and their hair shone
bright in the sun
swished in the wind
laughter rang out
as clear as a silver bell
until
the chain broke, the body thrown
little arms and face harmed
skull to a rock where a pillow
should have been
and i awoke, in a sweat
from the dream that stole
my secrets
and grieved for the children
already lost.

~

RNH

back to the sun

you stood with your back to the sun
and lamented
you expected
me to wipe away these tears
and forget that you used me
ensnared and consumed me
and still walked away, unaffected.

~

RNH

accordingly

i will put on my jacket today, as tomorrow
i will fasten the buttons in the same way
i will address this function
of living apportioned
i will divide myself
accordingly.

~

RNH

invisible shadows

three martinis later, he
thinks of calling her
three hours go by, he resists
three years of his life, in silhouettes
and invisible chains
she cannot wait
anymore.

~

RNH

prayer state

toes and knees and forehead
touching the ground
hands pressed
both contact and boundary
she made this kind of prayer
a symbol
of how close and removed
she could be.

~

RNH

long-distance

the snow was not enough to cover
the ground, still hard and cold from this
year's winter lasted long through spring
the summer, boiling, its quick compensation
i should not
look to those peaks
in the distance
when you cannot
look at yourself.

~

RNH

formerly betrayed

ideally, secure
with confidence, pure
in all motions, forward
succeeding elation.

instead, crushing doubt
when the words won't come out
and this little violent muscle
clenches hard in my chest.

~

RNH

on guard

the covers unfolded
the blanket removed
the unshielded, shown
what i still protect
this vulnerability
sharpens the edges
the guard going up
as i pat it back down.

~

RNH

tilted

orange little sunflower
tilted to the blue sky
ocean with its salt waves
flowing with noon tide
tugging at the blushed skin
glowing in the pooled light
spilling from the quiet stars
every reason that I love you...

~

RNH

sacrifice

the decapitated cross limped
along dragging its false
sense of privilege in the cost
of sacrificing self for love.

~

RNH

rapture

fierce, the capture
turning rapture
hands to claws to swift
disaster, clutching
at the surface where our
two spirals,
collide.

~

RNH

burden

head pulled down by worry, weighted
witness to the cornerstone breaking
anvil for a brain and anchor
swims around cold feet...

~

RNH

branches

tree limbs branching, splitting
life into two factions, keeping
hopeful heart apart from sadness
this, my fortitude
this, my balance
when the future forks between truth
and disappointment,
what will be your say ?

~

RNH

background

back carved out
hollows settle where the doubt
bent the body to its will
patience whittled down, thin
the loose strands of faith fray
wrapped in multiple, aching arms.

~

RNH

flower girl

flower girl
twirls of red and green
pearls of iridescence
curl in each corner
of her mind...

~

RNH

smoke

smoke drifts ghost-like
swivels in the atmosphere
drags its long tail
through the chemicals and burning air
sizzles on the skin
poison perfect in its mutability
icing dripping off the long fingers...

~

RNH

this new thing

she bent her head, curious
to name this new thing
to acquire its action
its existence, pattern
and reason for being
what true name to give, we
wriggle our antennae
and shimmer in the air.

~

RNH

sine wave

the drama, exciting
the nerves shake, inviting
a new strand of ups and downs
roller coaster love
little left when the upset sits
the agony calms
the emotions quit
their painful duty
of filling you in
i remember that void
and that place.

~

RNH

faithful machine

when did the robot
grow wings and take off
when did the bruised child
learn to love again
when did the mechanics
of the codependent break apart
and realize I am more
than your machine.

~

RNH

Astronaut I

I'll have my suit on
zipped and strapped in
velcro latched and buttons snapped
twin patches for my time and bravery
moon reflected in my visor.

~

RNH

orphan

orphaned planet
floats alone
swirling in its dark blue
poles pulled by opposites
and control
lost in spinning
ellipses...

~

RNH

flamingos

two flamingos
heads bent, touching
form a perfect heart
a feathery cushion
home when the sky simply
cannot contain
two hearts, one love
and the promise of forever.

~

RNH

handstand

she was half in a box
and half underground
and half tumbled over, with her legs
sticking out and the mess
that she made was no contest
to all this
a myriad of perspectives
being buried in a handstand.

~

RNH

dream in a bubble

kept the dream in a bubble
so as not to lose it
wrapped it
held it at arms length
above you
stared in the pool
light refracted by movement
and waited
for it to change.

~

RNH

car slid

the side of the car slid
through the air like a mirror, aqua
and liquid-like
it glimmered, flashing
reflection upon reflection
both eyes following the sound
of an amphibious machine.
 
~

RNH

false split

there was a false split in the person
an untrue binary grinding its teeth
in the entity, dualism
duking its way out of contradiction
and the I, caught somewhere in between.

~

RNH

when everything

when everything has an ad on it
when every thought is a commercial
what will be left
with grace and individuality
when everything turns into a product.

~

RNH

molecular bonding

your molecules were reflected
by five mirrors
one on each side
one beneath and the pyramid
of what you are made of
shone like a slot machine
the winnings, your laughter, pouring out...

~

RNH

the wound

i saw beneath your skin
into your very bones
the image failing to show
what they did to you
and how the neglect
made you feel
gnawing at the wound inside.

~

RNH