the dotted line

approached the void with trust and kid scissors
hoping to know the place to be severed
if i saw it
maybe i would understand
what needed to be kept
and what left
the difference between holding on
and letting go.

~

RNH

by the numbers

surrounded by floating equations
she had been doing math
since she could count on her fingers
and minus the harm you could cause her
she added the benefits
subtracting the pain, tallied
evidence  
loving by only the numbers
she rationalized the loneliness
bent on solving
the parabola.

~

RNH

angels

we made angels with bare hands and feet
tromped along the shore, legs heavy in the beach
sand shifting with our weight, entire castles
lay defeated by a swung arm
laughing at the pillage and swift recreation.

~

RNH

out to sea

i might take my boat and wander
off through green-blue waters, surf
the tide as much as my desire
is to be free, but honest first
i know that every sparkling island
distance shows with much reprieve
careful where you steer the vessel
illusion glitters as well as it deceives.

~

RNH

Icarus

met with a wall of water
as dark as the rock
the sheer cliff, diving
before her
knees bent, ankles clenched
she held
her arms outstretched, as a hawk
taking flight.

~

RNH

Crucified

i did not need to see your face
i knew your body as a cross
the edges and its intersections
braille under my moving fingers
taught the senses to dismiss
fear and failure, warnings, bliss
the ignorance of trust 
perceived
a blind girl to your nails.

~

RNH

In Chains

boxes for the mind
compartmentalization of theory
personality restricted, confined
to the basement, to the prison
if the fragments do not
convalesce, the whole never attained
there will be no peace or sanity
for the identity in chains.

~

RNH

Rose

she rose from the river
swirling black
and gathered the train of her dress
soaked, wrapped
it around her forearm
clenched fists
jaw set in a hard line
stood against the raging storm
and chose to save herself.

~

RNH

Lava

molten figure
lava flowing
golden musculature
flexes, owning
body carved in L-shapes
bowing
frame surrenders
to hunger and pulse.

~

RNH

Suitcase

ribcage of a plane tilts
sky held
like hands to a child's steps
first,
wings totter, then they bolt
and you cannot find them
a veritable dot
on the horizon.

~

RNH

Awake

when i stayed up late worrying
you slept
when i hugged my knees
you closed your eyes
i kept
my mouth shut, locked
my secrets in the deepest wells
of memory
now i cannot reach for them
without thinking
it was not worth it.

~

RNH

One-Second Circle

the barrel looked back at him
with a hollow eye
envied the will and flesh
wished for its own supply
of kinetic
energy forcing out the existence of one life
and instantly
taking another.

~

RNH

The Explorer

woman on a cliff
coat billows in the wind
one foot placed bravely
in front of the other

not knowing
what the horizon
might bring
is no obstacle

she will discover the day.

~

RNH

Carcass

tied to the rack
limbs stretched out, X-like
muscles tense, struggling
to hang without weight
tearing into strained muscles
being dividing being
bloodied animal
lurking in the human's spread skin.

~

RNH

Posing Silent

i had never seen anything as beautiful as you
and i tore down their images, paper splitting
in my hands
as cloth and skin and material
united
so much was interwoven, so much was designed
to blind you, bind you, and extricate
your voice
when i longed, most of all, to hear you speak.

~

RNH

The Heart's Appendages

when your heart walked off with your sanity
said, see ya later !
and exited, confident that its appendages
would carry it home
in cowboy boots and a hitched-up long skirt
dragging,
getting wet in the rain
you marched off, too,
and acted like you would not miss it
the cavern in your chest, just a crease.

~

RNH

She Said Why

she said, why must we be half-naked
to convey power?
i said, i don't know.
she said, why
do we strip
ourselves of integrity, but still feel
the need to show
our flesh at our weakest?
no man
would so openly betray himself,
and yet,
we do.
we wear our vulnerability like a coat
of bare arms.
i shook my head,
and turned from the mirror.

~

RNH

under the waterfall

the water covered
whether you were male or female
whether you cried or desired
only to hide for a moment
and the water found you
for what you are
at your purest, shimmering core
at the end of the world
you shone, unafraid.

~

RNH

star shock

she was a star trapped
by her own points, tripped
on her own stairs, lost
with her own gaze and she kept looking
at the crowd, caught
by the one face, shocked
knowing its you, dropped
onto all fours and fives and started praying.

~

RNH

enamored with the clown

bullet-pointed nose
one monocle eye
the other, glass painted
blue on the side
facing me
you repel and interest
at once
and i press your crooked laugh into mine.

~

RNH

wave it proud

wave it proud
wriggle the loud, bright
flag of purpose, you own it
no one could ever steal
your focus, like the rippled
sounds crashing the current
page contours to your voice and your move.

~

RNH

Truth

Do not be the echo
Be the author.

~

RNH

a note

there was a note left
on the wooden end table
an explanation scribbled
on a cocktail napkin
the words curled
upon themselves, wishing
like the ocean, to never return
and yet, still coming back.

~

RNH

Waking

after the door shut
there were only your footsteps in the hallway
fading
after the light switch
the darkness bringing
flashbacks and after the nightmare
the sudden waking
to cold on my fingers
your name on my lips.

~

RNH

Adam

he is telling one of his stories
on the couch, eyes looking
forward, to another point
he drifts away
smoke spilling quietly from his cigarette
drawing
diagrams in the air
for when he
loses his place.

~

RNH

More than the Body

there were no mornings left
to wake up to
a headache and bitter taste
the argument last night

lingering like your
cologne
hidden under my clothes
reverberating contact and desire

and now i can say i am gone
the agency rising from dependency
more than the body
you imagined me.

~

RNH 

on the counter

girl, once
girl, before
perched on the counter, tapping
heels to the door
waiting to be picked up
noticed
and loved
she is still
the girl you left behind.

~

RNH

Canvas

torn between brittle drops of paint
the tendencies of guilt
carving the expression, the same
dripping trust to a smear
if you cannot feel the space
between self and     other
you
will not be free. 

~

RNH

elbows and knees

she was a blur of touch
and smell, bright summer flowers
and long, dark hair, soft
face and stomach, edges sharp
only when her elbows and knees, laughing,
knocked into mine.

~

RNH

Four Faces

there were four faces
and one of them was mine
glinting
reflecting
anger like a diamond
prism pulled and stretched at corners
pairs of dark-circled eyes
beware the focus of four faces
when you have something to hide.

~

RNH

Come to Me

come to me
with your scars and pieces
come to me
with your terrors and shame
come to me
with your greatest of errors
your faulty, bad habits
your impulsive sways
and let go the guilt
and the rigid shell masking 
the need that you fear
and the hurt you have annexed
to dark, hidden places
when nothing i can say
will console you
come here,
let me hold you.

~

RNH

tissue

the skin pulled taut
where the line had been drawn
and severed
entered and splintered
what was one, now
separate
the flesh slowly sewn back together
knowing how to heal,
in spite of you.

~

RNH

The Door

they say, out of great pain
comes great art
and writing
out of great sadness,
brings joy
i am standing,
waiting
for the door to keep turning
i will push
just
let me in.

~

RNH

On the Corner of the Bed

you waited on the corner of the bed
for me to leave
i packed my things with my shaking
hands, i would not touch
you, breathe
in every shade of exhaustion
and kept rage, it shimmers
in your eyes
this is how i imagine
it would end
if i,
instead of you,
left.

~

RNH

Hinges

body, a twig
tough, waiting
to be broken
aching frame in your hands
long extension, small release
when the comfort is bitter
and brittle
as the truth, i
do not belong
here
snapping
at each hinge.

~

RNH

green-black sky

with arms spread
she soars the surf
her green-black sky
reflecting the depth
within
the kaleidoscope twists
each stone
a glitter of sunlight
cast on her wings.

~

RNH

Cloaked

walking through a ring of light
cloaked in my principles and pride
sheathed by the things i will not do
bending to embrace, bending to you
approval, never the house
i coveted
impulse before my own safety.

~

RNH

Shadow of a Man

shadow of a man
sketched onto the mind's eye
blink
and he disappears
speak
and the spell is broken
made of distorted
smeared corners
of illusion
the path
of least resistance
drawing him away every time...

~

RNH

Drift

there was no surface
to rise up to
no end to the held-breath
no relief from perpetual
sinking
weighted by empty, bubbled words
ankles tied up in a fin.

~

RNH

Cleaver

cleaver to the excess
pare the branches
pare the stem
left with only
what is absolutely
necessary
left with only
a pen
and a darkness i must
scribble myself out of
give it space and lift
my being from the absence
with the cleaver in my hand.

~

RNH

the loop

crushed the dependency
berry grape tendency
purple-stained lips and i can't lie
the truth is
i've run from and destroyed
every chance, a rerun
the loop digging further
into my raw heels.

~

RNH

skeleton boat

skeleton boat
carries you home
sinks you in time gone and memory
revolving the not yet happened around
the happened before
love's eclipse
as inevitable as drowning.

~

RNH

none of those pieces

like glass breaking
the sudden expression
the monster showing open
mouth and claws
extended, the intention
set, unspoken, immovable, i am
none of those pieces
and yet they
break me
and break
me
again.

~

RNH

Crocodile Girl

i will take my tea half
underwater, half
above the horizon line, eyes
blinking crocodile
goldfish
i dare you
cross me again and forget
the teeth beneath the surface
will cost you more than your
china set clinks.

~

RNH

Just Born

layers falling away
like cicada shells
reprieved
skin from new skin
the dawn, a body
just born
into this world
awake, alive and fragile.

~

RNH

Our Shelter

no bed to sleep on

I'll make do

I'll cushion the night

with the memory of you

I recognize

what they can't see through

I'll rewrite the lies

and buoy the truth

and we'll sail together

Our wings foolproof

Our shelter, the sky

and the stars and the moon.

 

~

RNH

The Existentialist

took the scissors to existence
marking i except from them
carving light exempt of darkness
glowing furnace, scars within
blowing gently on the fire
coals environed, gold and red
figure luminous in the pyre
rising mightily from the dead.

~

RNH

Forest for the Trees

the firs
stood against the skyline
defiant
not defined
by anything other
than their own
no one's shadow
i envied
their fortitude
in solitude
and longed for the same
strength within myself.

~

RNH

summer field

her hands flit through the golden stalks
thin and shifting with the wind
sea of grass
billows and tumbles, its song
lifting, settling, spins
and she walks through the amber light
her spirit encouraged
growing within.

~

RNH

Tarpaulin

we try to cover
our frailties
with joking and laughter
we try to hide
our insecurities
with sarcasm
we try to run
from our fear and make it look like
we are just walking away
in slow motion
in the opposite direction.

~

RNH

Hide

i turned you, but did not find a face
flipped you around, but saw no front
i spun you slowly in my hands
looking for an answer
seeing only the long, parted
hair, dark veil
over the windows and the eyes
when death filled the hallways
and hid your heart from me.

~

RNH

mimicry

i learned
at a very early age
to observe
pay attention, be quiet
the habits of a stranger
inhabiting a strange, new world
lonely
never at home
always molding the chameleon face
to match yours
i look
at this change as a possibility
when the most important skill
i have is
the adaptation
of mimicry.

~

RNH

cut puzzle

put together
as pieces of a cut puzzle
overlapping leaves of integrated thought
litter
turning to project to magic
the evidence found in the profundity of art

placing shadows carefully
open to folding, open
to the hesitant and rush
of capturing who you are 
the loveable creases on your forehead
the flexed joints of your hips.

~

RNH

Inexplicable

she said, nothing is planned, really
as if noting the chaos of the universe
would somehow explain it
why bad things happen to good people
why good things happen to you
as if that were truth
the void upon void, inexplicable
action upon action, futile
the message, imbibed, i
cannot bury my instincts
i believe there is meaning
in everything.

~

RNH

Building a Family

the home gave birth to clouds
and spoke in riddles
word bubbles rising from the chimney
and the walls leaned against each other
emulating comfort
admiring the family they had built.

~

RNH

Winged

i imagined a butterfly
and imagined escape
and two wings grew
from the middle of my back
and i watched as the fantasy flew
away and returned
to me
while i impatiently sat.

~

RNH

One Embrace

the round arms held a smaller being
which held an even smaller being
which held a child
and the world was never lonely
knowing you were only
one palm-width away
i need merely reach up
and feel loved.

~

RNH

Hunter

tilted head of the hunter
unbowed, focused
lowered to achieve best aim
mane arching stiffly in profile
claws ready
moments from devouring its prey.

~

RNH

collapse

city collapsed in shadow
urgency woven with depression
gray giving highlight
to the cheekbones of a woman
distracted by details and events framing her
beyond control.

~

RNH

The Wick

blacker than midnight and the words
stained like the light
from a man on fire
the torched heart, set free
the scarecrow self uncertain
what is life,
what is death.

~

RNH

taillights to taillights

when we lined up
pairing taillights next to taillights
infinite red-eyed snails
we listened
to the banter
on the station
to the motor's rail
groaning that it's moving,
not yet moving, working still
and the smattering of neon in the night sky
made its own kind of symphony and thrill.

~

RNH

Not My Home

left in a room
with your photographs
and your small voice laughing
pound of small feet running
in the hallway
chases me down
and my instinct
just to flee
and leave this place, in frames
intact
claws up, choking around my ears
instead, i wait
imitating the glass.

~

RNH

Flattery

when the comment smoothed
like oil
on fingers through coiled
curly hair
i grimaced and turned
wanting to unlearn
wanting to memorize
what you felt
the pillow-like, mushed
the billowy, crushed
the gentle seam pulled tight, wrinkling
the line was wasted on a puppet
clinging to ill-formed flattery.

~

RNH

The Artist

splatter of paint
indicates fire
heat turning liquid turns
conquest to gold
caressing what you wept for
tears sliding patient
glass to the untied slip, floor
hits and slowly
arches the circle, revels
in one metal link to the other
cuffed half
and the canvas only can listen
i coax and glisten
knowing you will do what i ask. 

~

RNH

Open Symbol

lines of neck and collarbone
traced in soft beige
burnt in light 
image saturated in pigment
loss and capture, hollows
ignite
the sharp inhalation
touch and possession
fingerprints left where desire
surrenders
to an open
symbol of vulnerability
waiting to be seen.

~

RNH

If Leaving

if leaving was an option
for the faithful
for the one that stayed

if leaving was a breath
taken and released
only to be filled again

if leaving was not permanent
flawed and fatal
diving from the edge

then i would not be tearing pictures
and you would still be here.

~

RNH

Swim

rising from the surface
muscle moves through negative space
forming agency from emptiness
as the glass is hit with the flame
turning spit on her existence
plastic eyelids keeping closed
i learned to swim against resistance
when you sink into your throes.

~

RNH

Adamant

slapped with a sticker
this i know, this
rings familiar
chanting purpose to the victim
yes, i notice
what you are

recognized the old polemic
all is pouring, tragic rain
when you are adamant
on not changing
i hear exactly
what you say.

~

RNH

Gorgon

when met with the sea of terrible
wind of memory, downpour of grief
i shout in syllables
unrecognizable
silhouette soaked, disavowing defeat
i raise my voice
to verbally move
the wall, the towering, violent beast
shrieking, it bends
bowed by the honesty
i am still here
i am not afraid.

~

RNH

structure

edges marked in charcoal
where i appear
where i disappear

squares and corners
of a playground
of a staircase, stones
projected

contrast relief

carving substance from the substance
crest to core
only structure can define you
smudge and rewrite
what you will.

~

RNH

The Horizon

you were so much like the ocean
and not the rain
so much like the heartache
and not the pain
from one pricked finger
no
you flooded me over like the horizon
endless
as a sunset full of colors.

~

RNH