seine

sketch of a memory
pen swings and swivels
stains
the sides of my fingers
ink black
and the visual net
is thrown to the darkest corners
gathering
the sounds and syllables
of truth.

~

RNH

the traveler

why am i always leaving
always with my bag packed
always with my keys ready
that eternal sign
of needlessness
perceived as strength
i wish i could unlearn
that habit
why am i always
ready to up and quit
throw my hands up
and efforts to the wind, well
it was never up to me, anyways
or is it
how about taking a permanent stand
a decisive move to say
in affirmation
this
is what i believe in, this
is what i am here for, and this
for once
is why i am not
running away.

~

RNH

on a fence

boy on a fence
waiting between what he has been
and what he will be
on the border of identity
guarded as the wind changes
watching the horizon...

~

RNH

on the leaves

girl in the forest
dreaming patience to the trees
when the city kept on rushing
she reflected on the leaves
and their will to keep on growing
ever reaching for the light
even one will die and wither
so the rest may live and thrive...

~

RNH

experiment

they say that collaboration is the key
the mixing of minds, the witches' brew
of thought and creativity
i wonder
what the experiment will bring
when my colors melt with yours
when the outcome begins to shift...

~

RNH

the fall

coils of auburn silk
fall down her shoulders
the center of her soft sweater
folds just a little
and you sigh when she exhales
and melt when she comes near
the scent of lavender
and innocence and home.

~

RNH

leading lady

with the desire to play a role
she swept her skirt up, turned
her shoulders sideways
and looked at you
from under long eyelashes
calm, in reflection
her perfection, blinding.

~

RNH

it was this

it was this big, she said
slowly pinching her fingers
the air serving purpose
to prop up the picture
and describe the dimensions
knife to the sadness
it was this small
she said, slowly looking away.

~

RNH

bed-head

creased bed from where
you woke up, got up, walked out
and serenaded the morning
and pet your depression
like a lover, caressed it
and left me with this stupid song
stuck in my head.

~

RNH

tinsel and noise

trepidation collected
tinsel and noise
and went up in a hot second
the Christmas tree in flames
and the memories stuck together
like all the things that you have been
q-tips and contact lenses
filling up the trash.

~

RNH

anonymous

anonymity
come and devour me
inhale this absence til
there is none left
walking the thin line
has only divided me
into finer and finer pieces
destroy what's left.

~

RNH

what's mine is yours

what's mine is yours
except for the sand
that filters through your fingers
and blisters your hands
what's yours is mine
except for the shadows
that circle my eyes
and silence my heart.

~

RNH

young girl, bitter grief

i grieve for her future
when she looks back and grimaces
wishes that she could return
the attention
and time
and attempts
to animate the silences
engrossed with posing
when she should have
spoken.

~

RNH

fortress

emaciated
luxurious in her neutrality
half-clothed
only her ambivalence revealed
and her eyes, flicking
consuming the breath of you
cannot exist
unless she lets you
closer
than her skin.

~

RNH

the decomposition

pulling over the covers
like a dead thing
lay beneath the sheets
this decaying scene
would not fade
for the life of me
drained out, puddling,
under the sink.

~

RNH

reconcile

when the pain came back full circle
i remember who you were then
and what you did
and i stared blankly at my weeping
reflection that i
could not reconcile
or forgive.

~

RNH

locked doors

she would not pause before
the closed door would not prevent her
from opening the locked stores
the hidden rooms only an unsent
invitation
she knows where to enter
she knows you are waiting.

~

RNH

skip and pulse

pace set by pulsing heartbeat
rapid punctuation, skipping compulsory
rhythm, a function
of what needs repeating
reminds you to come back
you, unabashed, come back.

~

RNH

blind love

they say love will let go
love will trust
love will do these unseeing
blind-man's tricks
and yet i do not think
love in any of its manifestations
would be something deceitful
or only
an illusion.

~

RNH

enough steps

i had hoped there would be enough room
enough steps between us
to keep us
from running into each other
the greatest sin of a dancer
is to not know where
you are going

no matter my path
you crash
into me...

~

RNH

two spun

when we spun
it was in opposite directions
you, too haphazard
me, too careful
both, types of control
and together, i
wanted us to spiral and yet
i saw it unhinge just
as quickly as we connected
we unraveled.

~

RNH

she, the performer

she took her clothes off as if it was
the only thing she had
left to reveal
as if it was
the only
barrier between herself
and the rest of the world
as if her
skin
was the only
possession that she owned
and could sell.

~

RNH

chaos tied

free from chaos, never to be
the clutter, a permanent lasso
the beads tied, collecting
rings around my t-formed
body
floating calm on the cerulean sea.

~

RNH

star-shaped

outline of what i am
not
recognized negative
pressed cookie-cutter
shaped thought
i pour and mold myself
into the picture
containing what you will remember

~

RNH

eclipse

crosshatch of shadow and trees
lost in the knitted light, silhouettes
sheathed, cloaked in the turning,
setting sun
and its veritable eclipse
of us.

~

RNH

salvation

if sinking were precursory
to salvation, lifting
the burdens from your
tired, aching limbs
i would cover your essence
with my bright shield
loving you, only
as you are and will be.

~

RNH

joyful sun

if the morning sun shone no more
raised not
its blonde, soft sleepy face
i would be able to go back and trace
each moment i loved you
and with regret, pale not once.

~

RNH

ache

when the argument demanded an answer
when the situation called for a solution
i could not give it
i could
not, for the life of me,
find it
though i searched in all the places
your memory clung still...

~

RNH

i would not hope

i would not hope for you to be here
i would not hope
i would not fathom
for an ending
more peaceably than any of the others before
i hold my belongings
as you were, always ready
to leave...

~

RNH

in the ice rink

the drip of guitar strings
circles me, circles me
skates
around my trembling pedestal
the bucket, not yet
kicked in, crooked
the step-stool shaking
forces me to question
the why and the reason
and the will for me
to stand here
and endure this
ridicule
on thin, fast-shrinking ice...

~

RNH

crossing the ravine

interwoven dark and light
the braid of parallels
coiling inside
the chasm i feared
could unhinge on sight
contracts in the view
of our bridge, close and bright.

~

RNH

handhold

I climbed up black, sharp rocks
The hill steep, slippery
Slope, if you let it
I continued
Gauging the fear
And the distance
Knowing my hands would
Hold in the right places.

~

RNH