cleave

you blanket

each new peril you meet

with that treacherous 

cast

and I walk behind you, hammer

and chisel in hand,

setting them free. 

~

RNH

arrows

one pointed
toward you
and the other, to fear,
and my heart
broke between them,
divided by uncertainty.

~

RNH

an unfolded circle

she had been the lone ranger
the sole captain
the odd stranger
for so long
that she had forgotten
what it meant
to be accepted.

~

RNH

In Nature

I have difficulty sitting still.

Even a half-hour TV show while I'm eating dinner. A whole movie ?? Forget about it.

I prefer to be active--to be shaping things and doing things and making things better. If I'm sitting, it's only because I'm reading.

But when I'm in nature, I can sit or stand without that sense of pressure.

I don't feel anxious or worried, or even guilty, for being still. And when I am still in this way, I can think about the things that might be causing me stress and feel more flexible toward them. I can think about those ideas in a new way and, like a puzzle, find different solutions to them. Or I can just know that, yes, those problems or concerns are out there, but they do not define me.

I can choose who I become. I can choose what I think about.

This feeling is very peaceful. And for someone who usually operates at 120%, it is a chance to let go. A chance to connect more deeply to what really matters, and shed the rest.

I am grateful for this world that we are given and the opportunity to cultivate such feelings of calm.

I am grateful for the places in nature where I have felt so at home and immersed in wonder.

~

RNH

emblazoned

There will be fire

And you will walk through it

As you have done before.

~

RNH

Write Your Name

i would write your name in cursive
so you could watch its loops and flow
so you could understand the beauty
in the circle of depth and growth

i would write your name in the glowing sand
so you could marvel at its shine
so you could breathe in wonder at any
soft imprint and let go the pull
of the tide

i would write your name in the drying sidewalk
so you could sink in its permanent
so you could know that the shape
of our choices deeply matters,
and in forming your own, feel content

i would write your name on the windows
the hallways,
the bus stops,
the railcars,
as many times as you need
to be reminded
that you are here--
that you are worthy,
i would write until the invisible is seen.

~

RNH

dissolve

under the blanket,
stories wrestle themselves
the wish and the honesty
duking it out
neither wanting the other to be
totally right, and neither
hoping to be wrong, both fixed
on their certainty, and so
the two versions
spar until the moon's rise, dissolve
into a bizarre dream in the morning.

~

RNH

blind

pressed against the glass, you

hear the crackle of wing to ash

and as the filament starts to flicker
you hold in the last seconds, charred
then free.

~

RNH

ten-thousand-mouthed

there's a ten-thousand-mouthed monster
and she's tugging at my sleeve, she's lightly
gumming on my fingertips
waiting for a look or fuss from me,
and late at night, when i should be sleeping,
she howls with all
ten-thousand throats,
and when she's hungry, forget the growling
it's the talons that you'll feel the most,
with so many
pointy fangs and dangers, you'd worry
that the love's not worth the pain,
but there's just as many kisses--
one ten-thousand for every day.

~

RNH

by lantern light

three lanterns sway on the horizon,
a twinkling dotted line,
a fastened constellation,
and together, they animate

the tales that you have lived before,
the spirit you embody now,
and the promise toward which you sail.

by the first, may you have grown deep inner strength,
by the second, may you develop clarity,

and by the third light, may all of your dreams be illuminated
like guided stars
fearless of their height...

~

RNH

This Is the Part

This is the part where
things get harder not easier.
This is the part where
loneliness demarcates your sight.
This is the part where
the hours of each evening seem unending.
Where the quiet night unearths you.
Where you discover yourself
rough and dark
and crumbling.
This is the part where grief
corrodes your most cherished memories.
Where fear wails out in anger.
Where the ghosts of harming gather
and chant hypnotically.
This is the part where you
will struggle and choose differently.
Only awake and strong can you
change your path.

~

RNH

half there

i stood in the doorway

half there and half leaving

and you shone with the affection

that belongs to the spark of familiarity

and i waited for you to say it

and when you didn't, i hesitated

and as i drove home, i plucked one petal off
at a time.

~

RNH

tracks

there are train tracks

on the skin

from afar, a whistle
blows, heralding
the night darkens
the few leaves shiver.

~

RNH

crying

he paced by the screen door

while the music inside lifted

wore a fine groove into the wood

while their voices inside shifted

from mere strangers to acquaintances

laughter made and exchanged

glances and he clawed

at the locked door

between them,

crying, but she would not

let him in.

~

RNH 

dove

softened by the fluff of pillows

the plunge into your arms

so that this love could be a source 

of comfort and not

two limbs of harm. 

~

RNH

soldier

she waved a single white flag
from the bombed-out
barricades
as the smoke curled
around another
explosion, another
grenade,
and she cried out for peace as the hatred
rained around her and she ran
into the pocked field gathering
bullets.

~

RNH

audiophile

for a year, i walked around in circles with you,
for a year, i stayed on that track
and did not stray
and for a year, i watched as the scenery
didn't change, and the images slowly looped
and then the audio did, too,
and i could not feign the blinders
that i did not have to blame
the fear of being lost,
the belief that i
was not enough,
they were not true and it didn't
end up mattering in the end,
because that record only played
when i knowingly went around on it.

~

RNH

a glimpse

the empty house sat
with its windows looking out
and he watched from his chair
for the neighbor, for the mail lady
and the smile of the visitor that used to open
his doors, every day
a glimpse into a former life.

~

RNH

Rush

I held my breath
For the long slide down
And winced, in both joy and pain,
At the newness
And the cool wind rushed
My face with bright sounds
And it only took a moment, until I
Let go.

~

RNH

Will Not Have You

I will not have you either
Said the patience to the thorn,
For you dwell in the dagger of your own pain
And you revel in causing the sore.
I will not have you either
Said the passion to the stone,
For you hide in the shadow of your own cage
And you bury your fire in its hold,
And I will not have you either
Said the promise to the cliff,
For I have learned to value my own judgement
And no one will push me off of it.

~

RNH