the hearth

around every fragility
i would build a log fire
and keep it strong, the crosshatch
of trust and stability
so that every storm weathered
would bring us closer together, the tinder
in our hands
kindled, anew.
~

RNH

a stray

not sure what caught me

about that moment

her frayed jeans fluttered

on the bench right next to me

as she tucked a stray blonde hair, a long

strand of a whisper lassoed around

on fingertips

i dug my palms into the slats 

and pretended not to hear me

fumbling

with my basket full of words 

as i bent under a feeling that refused to cooperate, that bowed 

like heavy-laden flowers, full of next year's promises

and i, too, unapologetic,  

took her hand in mine and vowed.

~

RNH

in the defense of all this

i made a list of the things that i'm afraid of
and i crumpled it up, ashamed
of what it said
and so many times i have hated
what my heart feared
and on so many days i have hated myself
for being afraid
and the spiral of self-doubt and self-
effacement is a corrosive one
and it does not leave
beautiful ideas in its wake, it empties
moments of their depth and spontaneity, it robs
the memory of its joy, insisting
blank-
faced that the only good found in this world
is selfishly driven and tiny and incrementally
doled out
for your best
and this loud, loud anarchy
sits in the middle of my kitchen banging
pots and pans of self-
importance and i
loathe her all the while.
i try to quiet the mind with reasoning
i try to explain to her with theories and i quote
all her favorite songs, she
cries louder, i point
to the fact that i am still here and she demands
to know why.
after several seconds of held breath,
i reply:
1. you are allowed to feel.
2. you are allowed to be wrong.
3. you are allowed to make all of the glorious mistakes that you are going
to make in this lifetime and keep living.
i promise none of them will break you.
i promise you will be stronger by your own choice.
but the best argument,
the greatest itemization i can make
in the defense of all this,
is
4. you are allowed to love
you are so loved
and no amount of fear can steal that.

~

RNH

vital

buried under the frozen pool
fearful of swimming, the consciousness waits
and though buoyant, at the surface warily stares
and though hopeful, toward the icy ceiling barely moves
and in the weird white light cutting
through perception
every instinct knows that down here
life will only suffocate.

~

RNH

magnetic

magnetic letters click
on the fridge and spell
out phrases, you recognize
i rearrange
and show you more
than i ever anticipated
and happy
when you learn the pieces, too.

~

RNH

purple heart

traced the buttons down

the feeling lip-locked and certain

amber eyes keep looking

around, waiting to be proven

wrong and all the cards

face-forward form

a dangerous fan when you're trying to stay

calm

and enveloped

with the curtains open and the mercurial glass

see-through.

~

RNH 

textures

texture of a tendency
the soft fur of an underbelly
the muted turquoise of a young field
bending, reaching
for the vocal wind
and the strong arms
of a glowing sky, present
in all peripherals
the welcome-home of vulnerability
to someplace safe and warm.

~

RNH

ten stars

stars fall into places
rolling dice and dot-connected
decisions, blink
in my handful of dandelion
pieces, my wishes
all for you.

~

RNH

cascade

water cascades in a pool marked,
no swimming
and the fences distinguish between yours
and mine
ownership, the separation
of the county line, a city's agreed-upon
apartheid, how did poverty and crime draw such red
scars upon young faces ?

~

RNH

life support

palms have rested upon tiny
shoulders, their growing
curiosity, who to contend
who to trust
and experience has witnessed
words adhered to, faith
absorbed and the strength
to persevere demonstrated as fearlessly
as it is taught.

~

RNH

3-Week Mother

i'll have to take him back, she said, if
he continues to have these
problems
like a broken toy
needing fixing, the realization
as sudden as the box
opening.

~

RNH

phoenix

without the pillars broken
one would never have been
rebuilt
without an all-consuming
fire, no
transformation.

~

RNH

bury

leaned into the L-shape
ghost of a collarbone and curved
neck, bowed
face, clasped
by your hands.

~

RNH

connection

candles pinched
single street lights numbed
and the message the night blurs,
tangles in ubiquity

string to paper cup hopes
with trembling hands, the bliss
not so far
as the steady stars between us.

~

RNH

rotation

two bodies
spun in slow motion, lost
their edges in the embrace
scoop found contour, shape
found a willing frame
and the assembly
of their beings
coalesced.

~

RNH

misunderstand

she asked me: what "mistake" means ?
i said, to "mess up," "misunderstand," "do
something not right"...
as consolation, i offered
that everyone makes mistakes, occasionally
even big
kids, even adults, even
teachers.

~

RNH

cavern

a warning sign jutted from the entrance

as if the cavernous darkness were not enough

to dissuade most from venturing

in few lean with lamp dim

fewer still attempt

to climb through uncertainty and transform

the void into a balanced place.

~

RNH

tinted

hinges
heavy and slack
hangs the spirit full of broken
bottles, green and gold
the glass of crunched light.

~

RNH

lay figure

sandpaper thoughts to some old wound
that person you met six years ago
the one who, Medusa-like, hair in hands, drug
herself through water
the snakes happy for the electricity
the one who craved craze, the one
who followed moons until they, too,
were slivers,
one day woke up
finding the scars an unnecessary
sawdust pool
around her
and refused to allow anyone
to whittle or hollow since then
what only
she had the liberty to create.

~

RNH

tiles

lettered tiles clattered to the ground
a handful spilling from the pocket
of words i
loved to hold inside.

~

RNH