Ambivalence

he said, I wouldn't
bet on you if my life

depended upon it, your selfish,
recklessness being
so apparent and with fists
shoved into his soft, gray pockets, flipped
his hoodie up and definitively
walked, from her, away.

~

RNH

Dream Train

I was on a train

barreling down a tunnel

in a city I have

always lived in 

and the flashes of fluorescence

that permeated the black, dense

memory, sank into an ocean

of last bubbles. 

~

RNH

The Gambler

You risk as if you have nothing

To lose

And so will you, when I do not

Return. 

~

RNH

voyeur

bending the rules feels...
like an option, for you,
the journey itself in the reprieve
of a boundary, decent
once open, the pretense
of a curtain constantly pulled
between your legs.

~

RNH

Cup

We act like there are

no monsters or dragons in our lives,

no imminent dangers or emergencies,

And in this belief,

We feel safe. 

When the monsters and the demons
are in the lies that we tell ourselves,
that we are not strong enough
to defeat them,
And against this fire and claw,
We must fight.

~

RNH

on wings

In the forest between this life and the next

life, we are journeywomen
marking the distance and the place,
and from the galaxy to the right,
where our loved ones wait patiently
to return to us,
the butterflies dance on certain wings.

~

RNH

Mercy

For throwing me across the room,

I forgive you.

For knocking my glasses off my face,

I forgive you.

For the ripped pictures and the fierce arguments and the empty weight I carry in my heart,

I forgive you all this.

For the nights full of worry and the gnawing doubt,

For the many lessons I had to learn

by crying them out,

For the merciless hand that I dealt myself, too,

toward all this,

I must face the truth.

And the cruelty you can no longer

inflict on me

ceases to matter,

when I grant myself the power I have always had--

to forgive you. 

~

RNH

on the surface

navigating the loneliness,
a canoe in still water
glides perfectly calm, only rocks
in the breeze, back and forth
on the lies, words
that ripple, like lightning
through a tree
the boat tips then
recovers, moves on.

~

RNH

Potential

Standing outside the impermeable wall,

You look up 

And ask the sky, how
Will I achieve
Anything from this low,
Forsaken place ?
And the sky replies, how
Did you build the wall ??

~

RNH

The Wallet

exposed as a thief, a purposeful
conquest, this crime scene
burns
with white lights and yellow tape
and the only false witness
who could change death to instant
rebirth, waits
with his truth in the lost

and found.

~

RNH

gumball diamond

only the rigidity keeps you from bouncing
over obstacles, still intact
your persona, sparkles
pulsing, like a million
thrown diamonds, a trinket
from the gumball machine.

~

RNH

Almost

we almost certainly crashed
or would have, a few seconds
between past and present
the could have waiting
itching, in the wings with its costume
of tulle, pink with impatience
and nerves.

~

RNH

lighthouse

if uncertainty lengthens the shadows
gives the black water its inky command
and you fear that you stand on the lone shore
empty of fellow hearts,
reach for my hand
and then through the loud storm, I will signal
sweep through and pilot the billowing night
and into my arms, I will take you
into a house of the everlasting light.

~

RNH

confetti trust

here, letters unfold
trepidatiously torn envelopes
like a butterfly lifting
its wings from cupped hands
and the few thousand lifetimes
we've lived, slip between us
and burst through the sky
on bright squares.

~

RNH

the sand

being
with indelible stripes,
do not hide your authenticity.
in view of the sundial obscured
from their pale eyes, only
your marks define the sand.

~

RNH

The Disaster

it is a difficult pill to swallow

when the mold fits too tight and you are not
allowed to say so

when the air becomes suffocating and everyone
stands too close

when no amount of discomfort will permit
you to complain

when your efforts to reach that ever-increasing
high bar

result in little
when your landing is a hard fall, certain
and clicked helmet-free 

when that first place ribbon
to someone else, more deserving,
is given

i know, it would be so easy

just to give up. 

~

RNH

stillness

The sky waits with a patience
Seemingly endless
Formidable
In these single seconds, still
Without realization,
Entirely moved.

~

RNH

lucky

you are the luck in all my found

pennies

the joy in the tickle of landing

ladybugs. 

~

RNH

when all the waves

I remember when all the waves I drew

were upward C's, buoyant

crescents to the sun and now

I know the waves within me, blue
with a saffron light, shine
with dimensions more than few
will understand.

~

RNH

The Crane

fodder for my quill
the disintegration of those beautifully
ill-weaved intentions
oh, how my origami chest simply
crumpled
caught in the talons of your gaze
i held together, that abrasive
dark bruising kind
of love
squeezed into a box, you knew i could not
unfold from and you stood by, watching,
admiring
my change
you said we were the same creatures
needing constantly
i say,
the sky looks a whole lot brighter
without you
i lift
to a panorama, new and unwritten.

~

RNH