fully

i met her on an off-day and her purple

hair did not fully register until i

fully looked at her face, chin tucked

into her collarbone, eyelashes brimming

with tears and i wished

to redo the moment, undo the scripted

roles and cursed

whoever responsible for this pain,

i thought,

if only i could cancel out their judgement--
of your own emotions,
you should not be
ashamed.

~

RNH

made-up

clown unbuttoned his eyes
and sat in his tulle and polka-dotted pile
the pointed hat further anointing his crimes
no features at all, but just a lonely doll inside.

~

RNH

welcome

if you are here
if you are meant to be
it will be as your own person
not as a filler for the void
there is no void
i am my own person, too.

~

RNH

torch

in my dreams, the memories
are an old movie, crackling
and faded with nostalgia.
your family, your children, the busy
scenes
are identical to the moving parts
we once were
a painful reminder
an ache in my heart
the closeness that only caused risk
a personality that could burst with such colorful
sparks or destroy
anyone at arm's length, i
remember
how your daughter ran to me,
from you,
for the safety
i still needed
as if, in proving
this ridiculous test of love
to myself,
it would not matter what was real.
and to that ideology and film, i now
take a torch.

~

RNH

mallow

on their sides, giant
cylinders of cotton
impress as life-size
marshmallows, white
and pillow-y spun
confection, unmelting
in this bright field.

~

RNH

"EX-"

you should probably talk about her
in the past tense, too
otherwise, i feel like i
should pull up a third
chair.

~

RNH

In Protest

i wonder what kind of father you would make
the man who has gone to work
all of his life
i wonder what kind of career you would have
the woman who has previously
stayed home and tended
children, i wonder
what kind of divide
we might not foster
if we supported instead of
competing with
each other
i wonder how long it will take to balance
out these off
center and limiting
roles and how many voices
will speak up to protest them.

~

RNH

Nomination

if i were president
i would make homelessness a lifestyle
choice, not
an inevitability
if i were president
i would reuse and recycle like it was
my favorite song, you know how
that stuff stays on perpetual replay
i would motivate with music
i would encourage us to build
a visual safe space
a place for us to express ourselves
with art and creativity
if i were president
i would
paint over the billboards
i would delete commercials
your sense of self cannot be bought, stolen or sold
if i were president
i would inspire my children to learn at their own pace
i would know that no test
score can show me how brilliant they are
i would let
teachers simply teach
if i were president
i would do away with systems that support destructive
behavior, we must
take responsibility for ourselves
and if i were president
i would begin each day by asking, what can i do to help
how can i change the world around me
i would start with the small
and never be through.

~

RNH

vanishing point

i will not walk on upturned nails
no longer will i
bow my head and pretend
that the lying unstable bridge
leads to somewhere
that the crutches in the framework
prop unseen
i
will not hide from breaking
ladders, the lattice almost collapsing, so that
an idea might be avoided
my shadows have proven the long
distance and sadness worth surviving
the vanishing.

~

RNH

&

there is a cafe with a door
and carved in it, the names of two
people who once held hands, laughed
and leaned into each other
and each frame fit the other, except
when they both slammed
shut
and now
no one on the outside
can see it.

~

RNH

belly vanilla

the laundry shifted on a vanilla-yellow line
and a warm breeze swung
and the grass knew just
what to do and as the belly
of a sheet rounded out, the blades
swayed to a song that only they heard and the clothespins,
nodding, approved.

~

RNH

all keys

your hands are the answer to my hands
the way that keys fit into doorways
the way that leaves absorb the sunshine
the way my heart is always open
when it turns toward
you
and my hands are full of possibilities
they cannot seem to find any ending
without you
the way they begin each story
with a hopeful prayer
the way they are lifted up
every day
by your love.

~

RNH

imperfectly

we joked

that the Frisbee reminded us of our own

fallibility, that no matter

how accurate we thought ourselves,

our throw still completely at

the wind's mercy.

~

RNH 

soothe

with your fingers wrapped in band-aids
you showed me the evidence
seeping through
the small degrees of pain that splintered
to gigantic slashing, the paper cuts that
domino-ed truth
and while i looked, in unfeigned sympathy,
and noted the tininess of your
distress
i remembered the invisibility that i once stung with
and bound each wound that you pointed to next.

~

RNH

splitting

the boxes had been emptied and their
contents put on shelves
the consolidation of years, birthdays
and Christmases, a history
no longer shared
and the consequence of each
splitting created
a parting just as sane
as the original good-bye:
the end of us, its own kind of rescue.

~

RNH

thorns

monsters grew voices the way
that some plants grow thorns
and the necessity
to protect one's self became embodied
in the form
of something prickly and dangerous
the way that essence guards the shorn
with teeth and carved nails
the armor to the veracity within.

~

RNH

the plank

patience walks the floorboards
treats it like a pirate's plank
destroys the laminate with her stubborn
pacing, the urgency
leaves permanent marks on the blank
worried countenance flickers
and with all keys
held prisoner runs
the risk of being open even if
no one else will.

~

RNH

two stick figures

from separate hemispheres
we write in the sky
my clouds always scripted
yours, puffy and wide
the notes easy to translate
and just as soon, torn
by the crash of one blue sea
as we stand
on different shores.

~

RNH

the hearth

around every fragility
i would build a log fire
and keep it strong, the crosshatch
of trust and stability
so that every storm weathered
would bring us closer together, the tinder
in our hands
kindled, anew.
~

RNH

a stray

not sure what caught me

about that moment

her frayed jeans fluttered

on the bench right next to me

as she tucked a stray blonde hair, a long

strand of a whisper lassoed around

on fingertips

i dug my palms into the slats 

and pretended not to hear me

fumbling

with my basket full of words 

as i bent under a feeling that refused to cooperate, that bowed 

like heavy-laden flowers, full of next year's promises

and i, too, unapologetic,  

took her hand in mine and vowed.

~

RNH